


The Secret to Life is Timing

by northernxstories



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:15:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27977940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/northernxstories/pseuds/northernxstories
Summary: A modern AU of Emori and John Murphy in which timing is everything. Features Dad!Murphy, Mama!Emori and a collection of aunts and uncles.  Comprised of fluff, smut, and a dash of angst for good measure. Alternating perspectives in the chapters between Emori and Murphy.
Relationships: Emori/John Murphy (The 100)
Comments: 59
Kudos: 31





	1. Too Soon

She stepped into the lobby with a swirl of snowflakes around her dark hair, artfully arranged in long curls that brushed over the collar of her dark red wool jacket. John paused for just a second to admire the striking image of the stunning woman before continuing to join his old friends at the bar. He had grown up in Polis and the place was a mix of memories, some more pleasant than others. 

Sliding into the stool at the bar, he was already laughing as Jasper told another exaggerated tale of his insane colleagues and bureaucratic hurdles. John had moved away for school, only returning to the City periodically. As such, he saw the changes in his friends that he suspected were wrought so slowly over time that they didn’t quite realize how much they had shifted over the intervening years. Jasper Jordan was a high school pothead, brilliant in his own way and a bit of a class clown. He had a kind heart though and that was a quality that kept everyone close. 

Monty Green on the other hand had been a brilliant student who was given a full ride to Polis College and then earned his Masters at Columbia University before returning to Polis. Monty was the golden and only child of his parents, who owned a large stake of farmland outside the City in which they used elaborate greenhouses to grow flowers. When marijuana became legal, Jasper and Monty had decided to throw their hat into the ring so to speak, using Jasper’s illicitly gained knowledge and Monty’s professional demeanour and credentials to get the funding they needed. It had been a profitable turn of events. They had bought out the Green family farm years ago and already owned several other greenhouses in the area. They were well on their way to being multi-millionaires, something that still astonished John.

Jasper was now engaged to a teacher named Maya Vie and his adoration of her had brought out a new side to the perpetually goofy man. Something serious that hadn’t been there before. He was determined and in love. Monty, on the other hand, was the doting husband of Harper McIntyre, a salty blonde with attitude and strength. They were expecting their first child in the spring and already Monty’s entire life was happily consumed with this turn of events.

John grinned as the bartender poured another glass and Jasper wrapped up his crazy story with a “And that’s how we got the severance consent. Legit, I was ready to blow the guy to make it happen.” Maya gasped so apparently that was a new addition to this retelling. Maya’s gasp only made John laugh harder, shaking his head in amusement. 

Monty clapped him on the shoulder gently and then pulled John into a hug, “Safe travels, Murphy. We miss you around here. You really should look at coming back.” 

“Yeah yeah.” John replied. His high school friends had never stopped calling him Murphy - a holdover since there were several Johns in their school. Murphy had been his name since he moved to Polis around the age of six and had stayed that way until College, when he got the chance to actually use his first name. It had felt bizarre at first but he wanted to claim a new identity and no longer be the notorious son of the town drunk who had poured alcohol down her throat so often that it eventually put her in an early grave and left her only child an orphan before his 20th birthday. 

Whenever he flew to the City for meetings though, the old gang was first on his call list - Mbege, Monty and Jasper. It alway felt good to connect with them and to be honest, he was proud of them. They were thriving in their lives and it lifted his heart to see it. 

“It was great to meet you, Maya.” John said softly as the shy woman waved her goodbyes. He hugged Jasper and sent the two on their way. Mbege was currently out of town for work, which was a shame. He was the only other bachelor of the group and he’d like a friend who was willing to stay out past seven in the evening nowadays. 

He shook his head in amusement and reached low to pull out his phone. Then he spotted her. The doorway woman. The coat was now gone, leaving her in a royal blue gown that flattered. She was even more beautiful in the warm lights of the bar area of the hotel. He debated it for a second and then decided it was worth a shot. He picked up his drink and slowly circled the bar, stopping next to her, “Excuse me, is this seat taken?” he asked quietly, a careful smile playing over his lips. He didn’t want to leer but goddamnit, she was gorgeous. 

He waited for the inevitable - I’m just waiting for someone - which was the polite rejection in this case. To his endless surprise, she seemed to pause, consider and then nod at the seat to her right, “Please. I could use the company.” 

John flashed a grin and settled into the stool next to the brunette. “John Murphy.” He introduced and held out one hand. She took it with a firm grasp and gave it a light shake, “Emori Kru.” 

“Very nice to meet you, Emori.” 

“It’s nice to meet you too, John.” 

Then they both laughed, a light, almost awkward sound. “So may I ask what brings you to the Polis Regent bar on a Saturday night three weeks before Christmas?” he asked with interest.

“Actually I’m here for a work Christmas function. Turns out I mis-read the invite. Starts at nine and not seven, so I’m early.” Emori explained with a laugh and a shrug.

“Seems like your mis-read is my good fortune.” John replied before taking a small sip of his drink. He was careful with alcohol after watching the events surrounding his mother’s rather brutal demise. 

“And what exactly are you doing in these parts by your lonesome?” She asked with a cheeky grin.

“Ohhhh … to be fair, I had an early dinner with friends. Came into town for business, saw some old friends but they needed an early night. So early dinner, leaving me completely alone at 7:30 pm on a Saturday night.” A soft laugh accompanied these words, “Seriously though, I grew up around here. So, I spent most of the day with them. It’s all good. Now I get to talk to you. Also good.” 

Emori’s eyes flashed over him and he hoped she liked what she saw. “Lucky us then.” She murmured quietly.

“Yes it is.” he affirmed. 

The night passed in a sugary haze. They were so into sharing childhood stories, work stories and friend tales that her party started and she was nearly forty minutes late because she was so into the conversation. She paused as she rose to her feet. He felt a pang at the loss of her company and was already jotting his cell number on the back of one of his business cards when she touched his shoulder, “Join me?” she invited. He watched as she slipped his card into her purse.

Without hesitation, John slipped on his suit jacket and followed her into the party. He had two motives, make her look good and stay in her company. That was all that mattered. It was easy to do. They just seemed to fit. They moved and spoke around each other all night as if they had known each other for years rather than a few hours. Her colleagues loved him, laughing at his amusing stories of his impetus friends and their youthful misadventures, tales of workplace silliness and just general life stories. He liked the way she looked at him as they laughed and talked with her colleagues and each other. Finally, he managed to persuade her to dance with him. They moved slowly in time to the music, just a gentle sway. The hour was late and they were one of the last couples in the place. Everyone else seemed to be on the verge of stumbling away.

John decided, once again, it was worth a shot and whispered, “Come upstairs with me.” 

To his surprise, she nodded and slipped her hand down his arm to fold over his hand. Earlier in the night, the hand had caused him momentary pause but that was it. She was unique and this was just a part of that unique. She had told him a few stories about how she ended up in foster care, eventually raised in a group home. Each story had such a twist of sadness in it. His parents had been incredibly flawed but he did know that for both of them, they did love him, even if other demons and bad choices got them in the end. He held her hand and let her guide him toward her bag. They said their goodbyes to the few stragglers and then, with her bright coat folded over one arm, Murphy found himself escorting the stunning Emori Kru to his hotel suite. 

He’d like to say he was particularly suave or that he seduced her with honeyed words. This did not happen. She stepped into the room as if she owned the place and he found himself admiring her as she peered out of the window at the view overlooking the City. 

“Wow. I didn’t know Polis could look this beautiful.” she murmured as he came to stand next to her and then she glanced over to find him looking at her. “You’re supposed to be looking at the view.” she continued. 

“I’m looking at the most beautiful view.” John responded quietly. 

Emori smiled and stepped around him, stopping in front of the king sized bed, her back to John, as she brushed the straps of her dress off her shoulders and let it fall. John’s breath caught in his throat. She was so incredibly beautiful.

Approaching slowly, he traced a fingertip along her back, “If I had known you weren’t wearing a bra all night, I’m not sure I would have survived.” he teased and Emori burst into laughter, turning to wrap her arms around the man. “You’re ridiculous.” her reply was accompanied by giggles. John’s hands settled on her hips and he drew her in close. His lips sought out hers. Their first kiss and he was swept under. He could honestly say he had never felt anything like this before. It was its own kind of magic, something he had not believed in until this moment. 

She pushed him back and he fell onto the bed and laughed. She followed him, straddling his thighs, one knee on each side of him on the mattress. Leaning in, John trailed a path along her throat as his hands trailed along her thighs and up her back. He cupped one breast and pulled it into his mouth, sucking on it to good effect. Emori moaned and threaded one hand into his hair. He wasn’t sure how he had managed to seduce a goddess or if the goddess had seduced him but either way, he wasn’t about to let her leave disappointed. 

Emori used her free hand to capture one of his and she guided it to the waistband of her underwear. John reached up to cup the back of her head and pulled her into a kiss while he traced his fingertips over her abdomen. Dipping up and then down, he continued to tease a path of the silk of her skin. His fingers dipped between her thighs, stroking over her panties. 

“God you are such a tease.” Emori grumbled and then laughed as John did. With a quick movement, he rolled her onto her back and then rose to his feet at the end of the bed, trailing his hands over her lean body until he could peel off her shoes and he tossed them to the side. She laughed again. Then he began to unbutton his shirt, nice and slow. “Tease!” She declared again, still giggling. “Get in here mister.” 

“Your wish is my command.” He replied as he shucked his dress pants, shirt and underwear in a hasty motion that was unexpectedly smooth. He usually wasn’t smooth. This was a fun change. Apparently he just needed the inspiration. He moved over the bed and she laughed again before wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “I don’t think I have ever laughed this much while having sex.” 

John cupped her face with one hand while he propped himself up on his other elbow, that hand brushing against her dark locks as he did so. “That’s a shame. Sex is supposed to be fun … funny … sensual … silly…” He punctuated each word with a soft kiss, down her forehead, over the arc of her pert nose and finally he claimed her lips in a kiss that started sweet and melted into a heated clash. He pressed his body against hers, loving the way she felt against him, all long limbs and honeyed skin. Everything about her felt good. 

He trailed kisses down her body, spending time worshipping her. This might be a one night or, if the angels were on his side, maybe something more, but either way he wanted to make this night one to remember. John tugged gently on one nipple as he sucked the other before tracing his thumb over the damp peak as he turned to lavish his attention on the other. She moaned, her eyes closing, and he felt that thrill of delicious victory of a man pleasing his woman.

He trailed lower and lower, kissing the slow rise of her abdomen and down the curve of her hip. Sliding his fingers under the waistband of her panties, he drew down her panties until John could toss the tiny garment over his shoulder. She laughed again, which quickly fell to moans as he directed one leg over his back in order to delight in his prize. Emori tasted divine and he took every boyhood lesson rather seriously as he feasted on her heated sex. Her body grew languid and heavy as her pussy offered up her sweet flavour. He drew her clit into his mouth as he pressed a finger into her core. She bucked against him and whimpered. John felt a thrill of pleasure at her pleasure. 

She wove a hand into his hair, holding him in place, although he wasn’t about to go anywhere. The orgasm was a crescendo, pouring over her and into him like a wave. Only then did her hand release on his hair. Taking this as a sign, John began to move his attentions back up her body, pressing heated, open mouth kisses on the tawny skin. Emori shivered in his arms and as his cock brushed against her sex, drooling and needy, he whispered, “Are you sure? We can stop now if …” He didn’t get the sentence all the way out because she practically shouted at him in apparent desperation, “Please … oh god, please…. Just fuck me already.” 

“Your wish is my command.” He murmured as he wrapped his hand around his cock. John was so needy already that he didn’t even question his next move. Pressing the head of his cock against her sex, John shifted forward as Emori’s legs seemed to tighten around him. He entered her body and groaned loudly. 

“Fuck you are … holy shit.” He whispered. Not exactly eloquent sex talk but Emori did not object. Her arms tightened around his shoulders as he fucked into her. It was a slow fuck at first, just a steady slide as he savoured the feel of her around him, against him, against his lips. The world had narrowed to two people - him and his goddess. He could recall no other time he felt so swept away. She called his name when she came again and with that the last of his control slipped away. He fucked her hard and fast, a stuttering rhythm until he came, whispering her name against the slim column of her throat, utterly lost in her.

The night swept them away as they cuddled in the large bed, his hand traced over her body, savouring the feel and the scent of her. John woke with a start when he heard the phone ring. He glanced around and then picked up the receiver on its third ring, “‘ello.” He groaned out, his voice crackly from disuse and a good night’s sleep. “Oh right … my wake up call. Thanks.” He muttered as he hung up the phone again. Looking around, he blearily noted she was not next to him. Rising to his feet, he walked to the washroom and tapped on the door, “Emori?” he called out. No answer. 

Pushing open the door, it was as he had left it the night before. Looking around, he realized that all of her things were gone. Emori had left before he had woken up and he wasn’t at all sure when she had done it. He flushed uncomfortably as he searched the place, looking for a note, something. Something with her number on it. There was nothing. 

Fuck.

She had his card, which had his full name, work email and phone numbers.

Would she call him? 

He felt inexplicably grief stricken by her sudden departure, even though he was the one leaving town. He showered quickly and gathered his things. Searching the room again was a compulsion he could not resist. He found nothing. Unfortunately he had a flight to catch and hopefully when he landed, he’d have a text, an email, something, anything, from Emori. 

Surely she would contact him, right?


	2. Too Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well hello there - if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions.

Emori didn’t recall being this tired ever before in her life. Not even when she was cramming for finals and pulling multiple all-nighters to just get in everything she had to do. She felt like she could weep from pure exhaustion but at the same time, she desperately needed tonight. After all, she needed to talk to the three women who knew her best in the world. 

It was now the end of February and the weather was finally starting to warm up, pushing off the almost oppressive chill of the winter as March was about to roll in. It had been a strange few months to say the least. She literally slept her way through the Christmas holidays, convinced she had picked up some kind of bug. She declined every invitation and barely saw anyone. She just slept and when she wasn’t sleeping, she was either starving and ordering takeout constantly or throwing up every single thing she consumed. It was insane. 

It had gotten a little better as January rolled in and she stopped thinking about it. She still felt tired and queasy but she had never been the type to run to the doctor for every little thing. She used to hate visiting the doctor as a child. She was in and out of foster homes so many times that it was always someone new. Someone who always tried to talk to her about the surgery she would need for her hand. She hated them for it. She actually didn’t mind her hand. 

Otan thought it was cool. They didn’t share any biological connection but he was her brother in every way that mattered. He was in her second, or was it her third, foster home. He was their other foster child. They were a pretty nice family actually and only gave up the pair when their biological daughter (already an adult) had gotten incredibly ill. They had to move to help her with their grandchildren and that was it. Social services wouldn’t let them go with the nice couple who seemed absolutely heartbroken to leave them behind. After that nice family, there were no more such living arrangements where they were treated like members of the family. Just her and Otan suffering through casual neglect, casual cruelty or worse still, deliberate cruelty blended with deliberate neglect. When Otan aged out of the system, Emori ended up in a group home, where she resided from the age of fifteen until she graduated high school. 

It was there that she met one of her guests tonight. Octavia Blake had the most dramatic story she had ever heard. It sounded like fiction and it actually had been a television movie at some point. Her mother had secretly given birth to her and hid her in the basement of their family home for almost sixteen years. Her older brother, Bellamy, had been pressured and brainwashed into keeping the secret for years, until he finally broke down and rescued her. Their mother was now permanently incarcerated in a psychiatric institution, where she would remain for the rest of her life. Bellamy and Octavia were working on forgiving her but that time had not yet come. Octavia was a media sensation, partially because the story and the rescue were so dramatic, but also because she was beautiful. Eventually the story died down and Octavia had the chance to live a semi-normal life. Unable to sit still and hating confinement, she worked on a ranch outside of Polis. Emori had worried for a while, until she showed up one day to surprise her friend and found her getting some “personal service” by the local farrier. Needless to say, Emori stopped worrying about her friend and started asking her when and if Lincoln ever got to join the group on a night out. So far, Octavia was keeping him to herself.

She met Echo at work, which sounded boring, but to be honest, Emori was surprised to find the elegant and fierce Echo in such a mundane place as an office. Emori did not love her job. Accounting work did not thrill her. What it did though was put money in her bank account. Money she used to buy her little house, build her savings and put food on her table. She was determined not to be without again in her life. Echo was of a similar mindset. She had been raised by her Aunt Nia, who made Octavia’s mother look like a sweetheart. At least Aurora Blake had, in her own twisted way, loved her children. Echo’s Auntie was a nightmare whose cruelties Emori couldn’t think of without feeling ill. Since she was already queasy, she deliberately turned her mind away from those thoughts.

The last of their little quartet was Raven. Raven Reyes Sinclair was a client of the firm. Or her business was. Raven was ridiculously intelligent but also lost out in the good mother game. However, after her mother’s neglect landed her in the care of child protection for the third time and the agency determined she could not return home ever again, her deceased father’s best friend, Jacapo Sinclair, appeared. He and his wife were stable and kind. Raven’s mother had barred them from seeing Raven after her father's death when she was a toddler. Now that she couldn’t prevent an ongoing relationship, they wanted Raven in their lives. They asked to foster Raven and on her 10th birthday they legally adopted her. Raven had a bad roll to begin with but landed on a jackpot. The Sinclairs were doting parents who encouraged her endlessly and even bankrolled her business, mortgaging their house to do so, as well as helping her as much as possible behind the scenes. To be honest, she was envious of Raven’s parents, wishing that someone had popped out of the woodwork that could have loved her and Otan that much. 

Taking a deep breath, Emori pushed aside these morose thoughts as she set out the platter of appetizers on the table. Cold beverages were stocked and the book they were supposed to be discussing lay on the edge of the table. Book club nights were her favourite because it was an easy kind of socializing. They would spend maybe half an hour to an hour on the book and the rest was a catchup session with her three favourite people, barring her brother who was currently serving overseas. Emori took another sip of her sparkling water as it helped quell some of the queasy. 

The knock on the door had her turning her head but as the door opened and a small beautiful face appeared, Emori grinned. “Tavi.” She greeted and felt herself pulled into a hug. She instantly felt better. The rest of the women arrived within minutes and they were soon settled into their designated spots in Emori’s living room. Each of the others had a generous measure of wine but the very smell of it made Emori want to toss her cookies. So she continued to sip her water and nibble on some of the toasted flatbread. When did bread start tasting so good anyway?

“So what’s up, ‘Mori?” Raven finally asked, tipping her head toward the other woman. They had been friends for too long not to realize something was up. 

“Oh well … I …” She started, suddenly unsure.

Echo snorted and practically rolled her eyes, “Do not try fudging. She practically fainted at work last week you know. We had to send her home early.” 

“What!” Octavia exclaimed, “Why is this the first time I have heard about that? What’s going on, E?!” 

Emori’s cheeks brightened and she looked down for a second before looking up at this gathering of women, her dearest friends in the world and the closest thing she had to family aside from Otan and nearly burst into tears, “I’m pregnant.” 

“WHAT!” All three women practically shouted the word.

“HOT OFFICE PARTY GUY!!!!” Echo screamed and leapt to her feet like she won a prize. She then had the grace to look a little sheepish and seated herself again. “I’m right though, aren’t I? I knew it when you stayed after I left.” 

Emori stared hard for a moment and then that sparkle of tears turning into a flood down her cheeks. 

“Oh no.” Echo murmured. “I’m sorry. Oh god. I’m sorry.” She had no idea what she was apologizing for but she hated to see Emori cry. She never cried. The woman was tough as hell. “Did he? Did you not want?” Oh jeez. 

“No … it wasn’t that...” The reply was watery. “You’re right … you’re entirely right and I don’t know how to tell him and I don’t know what to do … I’m so confused. I’m never confused like this. I hate it. I feel so unsure. I take his card out every day and I think I should tell him. I even dialed his number once and then hung up. I am a complete mess. I think it might be better if I just … don’t. Don't tell him. You’d … you guys would help me right?”

Emori still didn’t know how to express what went on with her and John. There was something in the way he looked at her, like she was magical and amazing. She had never felt more beautiful or powerful in her life. It had also been silly and funny and oh god, the sex. The sex had been incredible. She had woken in the night, still in his arms, and it had felt good. 

So good. 

Too good. 

It could only get worse. He’d be mean. Busy. Boring. Cruel. Suggest surgery to fix herself. Something. He’d mess it up or she would. 

Crawling out of bed, she gathered her things and slipped out of the room. Emori didn’t hesitate or leave a note. It was the better option and she liked the idea of preserving this one night as this delicious memory she could revisit and savour. 

She had put the card into her journal. Every now and then she would return to it, tracing her finger over his name and liking its clean simplicity. She delighted in it really. She actually thought about calling him but the more time passed, the more impossible and even ridiculous that seemed. 

Then she got sick. When she had to pull over on her way to work in early January, she decided enough was enough. She made an appointment and went in. When they asked if she could be pregnant, she had almost rejected the suggestion and then paused. Oh my god. Oh my fucking god. She nodded slowly, a realization sinking in. A realization about the birth control that they did not use and since she wasn’t sexually active at the time, the birth control she was not taking. Too late now she suspected. 

The results were quick and glaring. Pregnant she was. She could pinpoint the moment of conception, giving her a due date of August 22nd, give or take a few days as babies came when they came and that was that, as the nurse said. 

The doctor gave her the usual spiel about options. She liked this doctor because he had never made a suggestion about her hand and his only questions had been about pain. She assured him that there was none and the conversation ended, focusing more on other things or her particular complaint at the moment. He was non-judgmental and professional. She liked him for that. He had already given her a referral to an OBGYN and a midwife agency that was popular with first time mothers.

“Do you … plan to keep it?” Octavia asked, soft and quiet. Emori knew she had a terror of motherhood, understandable after what she had been through. 

Emori nodded, “I think so. Yes. I do.” Her hand flattened over her belly, which already felt round under her hand, although she wasn’t far along at all. “I want the baby.” 

To her surprise she heard a sniff across the room and glanced up to find Raven with tears on her cheeks. “I’m really happy for you, Emori. Aggghhh.” The brilliant engineer and inventor dusted tears off her cheeks with her hands. “I don’t know why I’m crying. I just think this is amazing. I promise I’ll be the bestest Auntie ever.” 

Emori had to laugh at that, although tears were once again also trickling down her cheeks. 

“I’ll teach the baby to ride and play sports, hiking, camping ... They’ll love it.” Octavia offered. 

“It might be a while for that.” Emori teased but rose out of her chair to hug her friends. 

Echo was the last and pulled her in close. “I’ll be there. For all of it. Rides to the doctor, birth classes, the delivery … anything you want … but you should ... consider at least giving him a chance to know. A chance to do those things. I mean … think about how Otan would feel.” 

That thought snapped at Emori unexpectedly. Her brother would be absolutely devastated if he had a child in the world he didn’t know. She thought of that funny, gentle man she met and suspected he might too find that devastating. Her resolve to exclude him faded and she realized, horribly, that she would have to tell him. 

It was not a conversation she wanted to have. 

“I’ll think about it.” She assured Echo, who nodded in satisfaction. They proceeded to ask her a thousand questions about how she was feeling, when she was due, when was the first ultrasound, everything and she ended up laughing and crying before laughing more. She loved her friends. They were the best.

When they finally stumbled off, the book left wholly undiscussed this time, Emori started to tidy things away. She puttered, almost aimlessly. For some strange reason, the nausea that plagued her all day died down at night. 

She picked up her phone and stared at it for a few seconds. Taking a breath, she let it out slowly and began to type. 

**_John. This is Emori. We met at the Polis Regent in early December. Do you remember me?_ **

It was a terrible message. Totally stupid. Her thumb wavered over the delete key and then, she wavered and hit send. 

She went to set down the phone. It was late. Almost midnight. Surely he wouldn’t answer until tomorrow at the earliest. 

Then she saw the bubbles indicating someone was typing.


	3. Too Soon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eavesdroppers never hear any good of themselves.

As the plane touched down, John turned on his phone and tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for the machine to boot up. 

Three messages.

None of which were from Emori.

Fuck.

For weeks after that magical night, John leapt for his phone every time it buzzed. Once he fell out of the shower, tearing down the curtain in the process, because he received a text from an unknown number. It was Maya Vie, asking him to join them for a holiday meal next time he was in Polis. Later that day as he bought a new shower curtain and nursed his rather bruised self, he came to the stark realization that she simply was not going to message him. 

Friends noticed the change in him but John didn’t know how to describe this extraordinary woman. He felt insufficiently eloquent to describe Emori with any justice. When it was evident that John was, in fact, quite hurt about this turn of events, they assured him that this just meant he was ready for that next step, that serious relationship, to settle down with someone. Except he didn’t want anyone other than Emori Kru. And tragically for him, she was not equally interested. The thought was gutting. 

It was a depressing Christmas. He got drunk and woke up in the middle of his living room floor inexplicably covered in tinsel, with his cat staring down at him as if he were in fact the disappointment he felt like. Judgment from Toffee was about as low as a human could get. So he decided enough was enough. He picked himself up, literally, then showered and started putting himself together. By New Year’s Eve, he had a resolution for the upcoming year, it was going to be the year that he finally broke down and purchased his first home, committing himself to never returning to Polis to live.

With some irony, he was paging through a potential offer on a stylish three bedroom condo near the downtown core when he received a text that he simply never expected to receive, no matter how much he had hoped otherwise. Emori. Did he remember her? For fuck’s sake. The laugh that bubbled out was a bitter thing. If anything confirmed the night had meant far less to her than to him, it was those words. As if he could ever forget. 

Fuck, this shouldn’t still burn but it did.

But he wasn’t about to pretend he didn’t recall so he wrote:

**_Of course I remember you. How are you?_ **

He had taken a swallow of his drink and then choked as he read the next words.

**_Good._ **

**_…._ **

**_I’m pregnant._ **

After he stopped wheezing like an old man and regained his breath, he managed to text back.

**_Since you’re telling me, I’m assuming this is your way of telling me I’m about to be a father?_ **

The reply was short and sweet.

**_Yes._ **

Holy fuck.

**_Can I call you?_ **

There was a pause. A minute passed, then two, then five and finally he set down the phone and rubbed his hand over his face in pure exasperation before his phone buzzed again.

**_That’d be okay._ **

So he hit the call button and on the second ring she finally answered. The sultry notes of her voice brought him right back to that moment, to that night, when he had her in his arms. It was a relief to note that it hadn’t just been his imagination.

John wasn’t sure how he felt about being a father and he certainly had no plans for parenthood prior to this sudden news. He always assumed he’d have them if his partner wanted them and not because he had some burning desire to procreate and fill the world with miniature versions of him. Frankly that sounded like a bit of a nightmare. 

Miniature versions of Emori on the other hand ...

“Before we get started in everything, just … thanks for telling me … I can’t imagine all of this has been easy and we did only spend one night together. I know … or at least have a good guess you’ve been considering a lot of options. But … thanks. I’m glad you told me,” John started sincerely. This had thrown him for a loop, there was no doubt about that, but he was a smart man who thought fast on his feet. It was a skill he acquired as the child of an alcoholic and it had paid dividends professionally. Perhaps it would finally start paying off personally as well.

The other side of the phone was quiet for a second and when the reply came it was a little watery, “I was nervous but … I’m glad too.” That emotional weight to her words, in that wonderful voice, made him wish he was there in person. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and just assure her that they would figure it all out. 

The conversation was polite but strictly about the baby. When he tried to venture into more personal areas other than the baby, he was instantly shut down and redirected. It was disheartening but they finally agreed that he would come to Polis in time for the first sonogram, which was scheduled for two weeks in the future. When she finally said it was late and she needed to sleep, he glanced over and realized it was almost two in the morning. Reluctantly he bid her goodnight and hung up the phone. 

John stopped and looked down at the papers spread out over his dining room table. Opening his laptop he logged in and quickly composed an email to his realtor.

**_Change of plans. Purchase is off. I’m going to need to see listings in Polis. Family friendly. Please let me know if there is other information required. Sorry for the short notice. Thanks. ~ John_ **

He hit send and shut down the computer again. Getting a transfer at work would be hell but if necessary, he was not above resigning and looking for something else. However, he hoped his employer valued him enough at least to consider it. He crawled into bed and before he fell asleep he grinned. Emori Kru was having his baby. It wasn’t ideal but he would see her again. A second chance and this time he would be memorable.

Every night after work he would text her, just to check in. At first, she would respond quickly and then end the conversation after answering his questions. However, by the end of the first week, the conversations grew longer. Texting became phone calls and when he sent her his plane ticket arrival times and details, he could swear that the response he received was almost enthusiastic. 

She let him know that she intended to take a few days off work while he was visiting so that they would have a chance to really talk and work out some details. He appreciated her willingness to do this for him and it lightened his heart and restored some sense of hope. John’s flight would land in the early evening and then he would come to her place for dinner. The next morning, they would go to her OBGYN for the first ultrasound. John had to admit he was getting excited. He had booked on standby, meaning he had a guaranteed seat on a later flight but an option to catch an earlier flight if a seat became available. 

He was just arriving at the airport when he received a message advising him him that a standby seat had become available on a flight leaving in thirty minutes. He accepted the booking and then sprinted for the gate. Arriving just in time, he boarded quickly and was promptly told to turn off his phone. As the flight taxied off the runway, he realized that he had not had the opportunity to let Emori know he would be arriving nearly two hours earlier than planned. 

By the time the flight landed, he decided he would make it a surprise. Show up as agreed, early at that, with a fluffy teddy bear in one arm. Surely that would demonstrate how seriously he was taking this news and her, right? Right. As he climbed into his rental, he noted that early spring had already taken hold in Polis. The streets were clear and the ground was already losing the muddiness that always arrived when the snows melted. A few more weeks and the spring flowers would be starting to appear. 

Following the navigation, he made his way to Emori’s home, on a pretty street in one of the older neighbourhoods in the City. It wasn’t as fancy as a newer subdivision but it had a pleasant mix of neighbours ranging in age, with wider yards and older trees. He could see why she selected the residence. Her house was charming with a broad porch wrapping around the side, gardens already cleared away and ready for spring to arrive, and cheerfully painted shutters. It wasn’t large but for a girl who grew up without a place of her own, he understood why she wanted something so classic. It looked like a family home. 

John was walking toward the front door when he heard her voice. Glancing around, he realized her living room window was open and she was seated near the window and she was speaking. It took him a moment to realize she was on a kind of call, perhaps some sort of web call it seemed as he could hear both parties speak. He heard the rasp of another man’s voice. John paused and quickly realized it must be Emori’s brother. All John knew about him was that they grew up together, were not biologically related but considered one another family, and he was currently stationed overseas. 

John opened his mouth to speak so she would at least know he was here but the next words had his voice frozen in his throat.

**_So do you plan on marrying this guy who got you pregnant or what?_ **

Emori’s response was a laugh. A laugh. Then she said, “Oh god no. This is not the guy you marry. I would never have picked him to be the father but … it is what it is. Right now he seems all right with it but I bet in a year, he’ll be a two weeks in summer, a few days at Christmas, photos in his wallet and here’s my child support kind of dad. He isn’t the kind of guy you keep. He’s the kind of guy you … well … you know.” 

The brother laughed and then pretended to grumble. John wanted to die inside. He knew that she didn’t know him well but that description was just so … fuck … He couldn’t breathe. He turned to leave and his keys slipped from numb fingers, clattering across the wood of her deck and stopping just short of the window. Emori looked up and out the window and saw him standing there. 

“Otan I have to go.” she said, although John felt like he should be the one to go and not her. Wait, that wasn’t what she said, was it? His head swam and he managed to pick up the keys and shove them into his messenger bag, just as the door opened.

“You’re early.” She murmured, “I was … I was just talking to my brother.” 

John nodded, unsure exactly what to say. She didn’t owe him anything after all. He was lucky she called him at all. Suddenly he was just that trashy kid from the wrong side of the tracks with the locked up father and the drunk mother once again. He was the guy no one valued much less took seriously. He was not the man he had tried so hard to be - a good friend and a hard working employee. Not the kind of guy you married apparently.

“Is he doing all right? I’m sure his job gets tense at times.” John responded politely, as if he hadn’t heard a word of the conversation that ripped right through him and had him spiralling into dark places he had tried to escape years ago. As he tried to process this new information, he couldn’t help but notice she looked gorgeous. With her flushed cheeks and the lines of her body softened with pregnancy, it was clear that her current state suited Emori. 

She nodded, “Yeah, his work is mostly at the base so he’s good right now. Thanks for asking. Ummm …” she gestured to the fuzzy bear, “Is that for me?”

John looked down and then nodded. He had forgotten he had been holding it. “Yeah, yeah it is.” He held it out toward her. “Well for the time being. You have to share when the baby gets here.” He tried to joke, although it came out a little flat. 

“Uh, come on in. I didn’t know you would be here so soon?” Emori commented as she stepped back, holding the door open.

Too soon. Way too soon. Last time he'd try for a standby ticket for a while at least. “Yeah, caught an earlier flight. Guess I was a bit excited. I hope you don’t mind.” 

She shook her head in response, “No of course not. Please. Welcome to my house.” Looking around he noted the clean lines, tasteful decorations and the sort of snug coziness to the place. There were bookshelves filled to overflowing with books and decorative accents that looked genuine and personal rather than artfully placed by an interior designer. 

“It’s a beautiful home. Thank you for having me,” John replied quietly.


	4. Too Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprises don’t wait until you are ready.

**_Can I call you?_ **

Emori stared at the text message from John. This conversation was not at all what she expected, though to be fair what she had expected she did not know. She was a little embarrassed at how bluntly she had given him the news. She had rehearsed so many alternatives and the abrupt “I’m pregnant” had not even been on the list. It had been effective though. She needed to answer his question and she honestly was not sure. She was hesitating and she was not sure why. Midnight had come and gone by the time she finally let him know that he could call. In seconds her phone was ringing. The first words out of his mouth had those tears tracing down her cheeks again. She didn’t used to be this soggy but then again, she hadn’t felt so vulnerable since she was a child. 

As such, she elected to maintain as professional and polite a demeanour as she could in the face of this man’s kindness. When she mentioned the ultrasound, she was torn between wanting his presence and wanting him to declare himself unavailable. This scattered feeling was uncomfortable and she wanted to restore her equilibrium. Except he did not hesitate and stated he would book the flight and let her know the details. She gave him the name and number of a bed and breakfast near her house. The implication being that he was not to stay in her home. She was not going to open her entire life to this man. He was the father and she wouldn’t exclude him but she had to keep herself together. She did not have time or the emotional bandwidth to deal with whatever chemistry lingered between them and navigate pregnancy at the same time. 

The one significant upside to pregnancy was she no longer tossed and turned at night, worrying about her day and all that was said. Instead the minute she was prone, she was out like a light. She was confident that she wouldn’t hear from John again for at least several days. However, the man seemed determined to prove her wrong. Every evening she would get a text and by the next weekend, they had several lengthy phone calls. It took strength to keep it strictly about the baby and how she was feeling. 

There was only one person she had left to tell. Otan. Unfortunately, getting a planned video call was always a challenge given the remote location of his base and its inconsistent connection. It was the afternoon before John’s visit when she finally managed to connect with him. 

The observant man noticed immediately that she looked different. She really had gained more weight than the books indicated was normal at this stage. It made her apprehensive but that was beside the point at this moment. When she finally confided in Otan about the pregnancy he was predictably supportive, until the conversation turned to John.

For the first time in her life, she simply did not know how to share her conflicted thoughts with Otan. When he asked about the possibility of marriage, she did not want to admit that she had, in moments of pure weakness, imagined just such a possibility. Instead, she opted for flippant, dismissing the possibility. After the fact she couldn’t recall precisely what she had said. She did know it was not particularly flattering as she heard a noise on her front porch, looked up and saw John Murphy’s face. He was early by several hours, which was irrelevant compared to the devastation that flashed across his face. Just a moment and yet, she saw it all. Her stomach lurched and that queasy feeling returned, although this time it had nothing to do with the pregnancy. What had she done? By the time she shut down the call and opened the door, his expression was polite but reserved.

Emori felt guilty and then angry about feeling guilty. As if she didn’t have enough to worry about without fencing with his feelings on the matter. He didn’t raise it and continued to engage with her politely, complimenting her home and nodding as she pointed out where the baby’s room would be and all the other plans she had made since discovering she was pregnant. 

The conversation flowed easily. He was a good conversationalist, something she remembered from their night together, and it was not hard to spend time in his company. They discussed things like birth plans and how long a leave she’d like to take. They even managed to discuss financial arrangements and it was clear he had put a lot of thought into each topic but had been prepared to let her lead or consider the options he presented. It was only after he left that she noted the difference between this conversation and their prior ones was that he no longer made efforts to discuss anything other than the baby. Wasn’t this what she wanted?

Although she had wanted time to reflect before she saw him again, she was simply too exhausted. She was asleep mere minutes after her head landed on the pillow. He arrived just a few minutes earlier than agreed and waited until she came out to join him. It seemed foolish to take two vehicles to the doctor’s office so they had sensibly agreed to drive together. However, she felt awkward sitting next to him and found herself simply staying quiet. John was also silent, and she wondered whether that had to do with the tense situation or perhaps he simply wasn’t a morning person.

Finally she broke the quiet, “Can we talk about yesterday?”

John looked over at her for a second and then back at the road, “Is everything alright, Emori?” 

She found his solicitous manner slightly annoying right now. Honestly, she wished he would be a bit more of a jerk about it all. Echo kept telling her that she wanted him to act out so she had an excuse to cut him from her and the baby’s life. Emori hoped she wasn’t so childish or petty but it was possible. The nicer he was, the harder it was to excuse herself for almost not telling him at all. She had made up her mind to do so when Echo’s comments had her reconsider. 

“I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings with, uh, what I was saying to my brother…” She started before John cut her off, “Let’s not talk about that. I shouldn’t have been there and you are perfectly entitled to have an honest conversation with your brother. It’s fine. It’s all about the baby. Okay? I’ll do my best not to let the baby down,” He paused and cleared his throat, “Thanks again, for … you know … letting me be here.” 

An honest conversation. Ouch. That turn of phrase had a sting that she didn’t think John intended as he said it. Emori hadn’t been honest with her brother and now that was what John thought she was doing. She had no one to blame but herself. 

“Okay.” She nodded and then released a breath of air, although it didn’t free the bubble of pressure that had landed on her chest. “I am glad you are here for this.” 

Silence fell in the vehicle and Emori tried to not let him see the sparkle of tears in her eyes. She had the terrible feeling that she had just damaged something that was not, in fact, repairable. Emori stared out the window as they finally turned into the parking lot and John got the parking tag organized. As she climbed out of the vehicle, she watched as a sweet couple walked out hand in hand, gushing over the ultrasound pictures they had received, clearly enraptured. For just a second, she wished that those were her circumstances, that she was having this baby with someone who loved her and she loved in return, rather than this charming stranger. 

They walked quietly to the physician’s office and John seemed to be letting her take the lead, which she genuinely appreciated. She hated feeling trampled on and this was her body and her life. She already hated doctor’s offices and as this was her first appointment with this OBGYN, she felt especially on edge. They did not have to wait for long. Emori lacked most of her family medical history but John had most of his, which was fortunate. The doctor was a pleasant and cheerful older woman that Emori found reassuring. She didn’t bat an eye about their unique situation, which made Emori wonder if it was all that unique after all. John’s charm was present once again and by the time they were walking to the ultrasound room, she was feeling better about everything. 

Emori waited for the ultrasound tech to begin and glanced up at John as she waited. He was watching the tech with fascination and reached for her hand. Her heart skipped a beat, but he seemed to think better of it, and dropped his hand before he actually touched her. The edge of disappointment was sharp enough to make her feel like she was bleeding, and she wondered if she had done something wrong. As if noting her distress, he leaned in and murmured, “Are you feeling alright, Emori?” 

She nodded at the concerned question, “Of course. Just nervous I guess?” 

He smiled reassuringly and she noted that his hands shifted toward her again. Just for a second, Emori felt a rush of optimism, but John shoved his hands into his pockets and straightened again. Then she was distracted as the technician ran the wand of gel over her belly and she gasped at the chill. Emori had to laugh at the reaction and then watched as the transducer was pressed to her skin. 

“Ah yes,” The tech noted before blinking and moving the probe again. 

“Is everything okay?” John asked quietly as he exchanged a look with Emori. 

The tech set down the probe for a minute and said, “Just a minute. I’ll be right back.” 

Emori couldn’t breathe. “What … what’s going on?” But the tech didn’t answer, just pushed out of the room. John’s hand folded over hers. “It’s going to be okay. It will be.” His voice was warm and assuring. The contact made her feel better, without a doubt, but it didn’t take away the unease of not knowing what was happening..

The door pushed open again and the doctor entered. 

“Hello again, Emori and John.” she greeted, “Now let’s see here, shall we?” The physician picked up the transducer and began to press it to Emori’s belly. “First of all, here we go.” With the press of a button, the sound of the heartbeat filled the room. At least that’s what Emori thought it was but before she could speak, the doctor continued “And here is the reason I was asked to join you today. Here is the baby,” There was a gesture toward the screen, “And here is the other baby. You are having twins. Congratulations.” 

Emori’s eyes went wide and her gaze flicked up to John, who had slumped into the stool that was waiting, although he hadn’t released her hand. “Holy shit.” 

Emori nodded, “Holy shit is right.” 

Then they both laughed. The doctor nodded, “This is exciting news and it does explain why you are already showing. However, it does mean there will be a few additional challenges with the pregnancy.”

“Ummm… does it look like it is identical or,” John asked quietly.

“I would say it is likely fraternal twins. I am not yet able to check the gender but at a future ultrasound, we can do so. They both seem to be developing well. Strong heartbeats.” The physician explained. “I’ll have the tech come in to do the photographs so you can have them. I’d like to see you again in 2 weeks to discuss the challenges of being pregnant with twins. I know this is some exciting news. Take your time, process it and come with your list of questions to the next appointment, alright?”

Emori nodded and murmured, “Thank you, doctor.” John mumbled something in agreement but his gaze didn’t leave the screen, which had frozen on the last image, clearly showing the two little blobs. Then he laughed, “We made two of them. Two. Unreal.” 

Unable to resist, she squeezed John’s hand, “I’m really glad you are here.”

He nodded and squeezed her hand in return, “Me too.” He nodded toward her belly, “May I?” 

Emori nodded, feeling strangely reluctant. He hadn’t asked to touch her since he appeared the afternoon before and until she found her hand in his, they hadn’t physically made contact. 

John traced a fingertip over her abdomen and murmured, “Hello in there. I’m your Daddy.” Emori’s heart skipped a beat at the softly spoken words. Before she could say anything the tech returned and the photograph process began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my generous beta reader. I appreciate your work immensely.


	5. Too Soon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have Around the Home

“I hate to be that guy but, um, Murphy, are you sure they’re yours?” Mbege asked. Both of them were named John, which meant they had only ever used their surnames with one another. Mbege was the first to start the trend that lasted until John went to college.

John’s mouth opened and then closed. He wanted to be offended but really, what surprised him most was that he had not once questioned it. Since the second Emori texted him the news, he had never queried paternity at all. He blinked and sat back in his seat. They were at Mbege’s dining table. Or really Mrs. Mbege’s dining table in her small but meticulously maintained home. Indra Mbege was one of the key reasons he had thrived and even gotten into college. He and Mbege were the only two boys in their age group on their rundown street. Mr. Mbege had died in a workplace incident when his children were still young. Indra had raised her two children, Gaia and John, with ferocious diligence and unwavering affection. When it became evident that Mrs. Murphy neglected her only child, Indra ended up with three children. She helped him with his schoolwork and put college applications in front of his nose until he filled them in. She paid the application fees, although she could scarcely afford it. It didn’t matter. Her two boys were smart and they were going on to better things in life, just as Gaia had done before them. 

Gaia now worked as a photojournalist, forever off to some mad and dangerous place in the world. One would think Indra would be terrified and perhaps she was, but she never let anyone know that. Her children only received support from her. As she often said, the world would try to keep them crammed into tiny boxes enough in their lives, and they needed someone in their corner. No one would dare mess with her children, as she could be all kinds of fierce where they were concerned.

When John was given permission to share the news of the pregnancy with ‘his family’, Mbege, Gaia and Indra were the top three that came to mind. Mbege touched his arm, snapping John back into the moment, and he shook his head wryly. 

“To be honest, I think she wishes it wasn’t me. If there was any other possibility, I bet she would never have told me,” John replied thoughtfully, “They are mine. They.” He flashed a grin at his oldest friend and this time, it was a little smug and arrogant, “One night and two babies. To think if you had been in town instead of off on some carribean island with that hot boyfriend of yours, I might never have met her.”

Mbege nodded agreeably, “You’re welcome then. You filthy slut. You know Mom is going to smack you so hard for not using birth control.”

John laughed at that one, “Fuck … can you maybe just lie about that part?” He asked, only half kidding.

The other man shook his head, “Oh no way man, I already texted her and Gaia that info to let them know what a little slutty Christmas elf you turned out to be.” Mbege held up his phone to show that he had, in fact, done just that. John roared with laughter.

“You are such an asshole.” He choked out.

“Takes one to know one.” Mbege returned. It was an old joke between them but it still made them laugh. As the conversation shifted away from Mbege ridiculing John for his promiscuous ways, they dived into more serious topics. Particularly, John’s new place of residence. He was now three visits into his pregnancy journey with Emori and he was burning money staying at the BnB every time.

Mbege unfolded a reference plan and showed it to Murphy. “Okay so here’s the thing. This spot,” He stuck a post-it note on top of one lot. “That’s Emori’s house. I’ve been checking around and this house,” Another post-it note was stuck to the plan, “is also for sale.” The spot was right behind Emori’s house. Basically, if they put a gate at the back of each garden, the twins could just walk over to their other parent’s house. 

“That’s amazing!” John exclaimed, excited despite himself. “Same school, hell, same school bus. They could just go back and forth when they are older. Commute super easy. Plus we wouldn’t actually see each other’s front door. Bonus privacy despite proximity. What’s the catch? Let me guess. The house is insanely expensive.”

Mbege shook his head, “Actually the house is dirt cheap but there is a catch. It’s run down as hell. It’s been vacant for at least two years and completely neglected. The foundation is probably okay from my initial walk-around and we may be able to preserve some features. However, it is a really old house that has received no real maintenance or repair in what looks like decades.”

John sat back in his seat with a thump. “Ah fuck. That’s not good. So pretend I’m a client. A real one and not some bullshit childhood friend, how much am I looking at to get this house into a place that is livable? And how long?”

Mbege shrugged, “At least 200k and about six months. But I can probably get the land for a song. I have a good rep for not turning out shit.” This was quite literally his job. Mbege liked taking old homes and making them something people could really enjoy once again. He preferred renovation to tearing it down and rebuilding. He started small with little places in their neighbourhood and now had an excellent reputation throughout Polis for his work and the skill of his team. 

John tapped his finger against the beer bottle as he considered. The location was perfect, assuming Emori approved. But a six month reno project was not ideal. To be fair, it wasn’t likely the twins would be spending much time just with him or away from their mother, until Emori went back to work that is. So they did technically have the time. 

“Would you be able to do me up a professional budget so I can go to the bank?” John asked. 

“Absolutely. I’ll make sure our project manager gets on it first thing on Monday.” 

The ready agreement was satisfactory. “Great. I’ll get Emori’s consent to the plan. I’m not blindsiding her with this too.” 

“Nah man, I think getting the girl pregnant in one night with twins is pretty much all the blindsiding you should do with her, like ever.” Mbege agreed. John laughed and scrubbed a hand over his face, although there was a trace of arrogance in that laughter. Hells yeah, one night. Two babies. All him. 

They finished out their night discussing things that honestly wouldn’t have crossed their minds ten years ago - eat in kitchens, bench seating, best flooring underfoot for the twins to learn to walk, baby rooms that would convert well to children’s rooms and so on. They also agreed to look for a small nearby apartment for John to stay until the house was at least liveable. 

Mbege did up some preliminary sketches and reprinted everything else for him. The next morning, he headed for Emori’s house. They had agreed to Sunday brunch before he flew back. It would be the last period of time he would be away. His job transfer had been approved and he’d be living in Polis permanently by the end of May. It was fantastic news and frankly he had been so relieved. His boss had children and she completely understood, although she was sad to see him go. John was good at his job, which was one thing at least. He’d still be with the company and if anyone asked, he’d give his soon-to-be former boss a rave review as both a mentor and as a human being. Side bonus was that his workplace benefit plan was better than Emori’s so they were working on getting her on his plan to save money. It was strange what became really important when there were children involved. 

He tapped on Emori’s door and waited. Nothing. He knocked again. Had she fallen asleep? That wouldn’t be surprising since the pregnancy had worn her out but it was unlike her not to be awake when he came over. He tried a third time, louder still, and then felt his phone buzz. Looking down at his hand, he had a text from an unknown number. 

**_This is Echo. I’m with Emori. We’re at the hospital. 2nd floor. Room 212._ **

His reply was succinct as his entire focus was on getting to the hospital as quickly as he could.

**_On my way._ **

John was sure his heart stopped at that exact minute. He walked back to his waiting vehicle on robotic limbs, threw everything in his hands into the back of the car and slid behind the wheel. The drive to the hospital felt impossibly long, taking hours instead of minutes. 

However, twenty-two minutes after receiving the text, he was tapping on the door frame of the hospital room. A beautiful woman with long dark blonde waves and concerned eyes approached the door, “Hey John.”

He remembered her now. She had been at the office party. “Echo,” he murmured in a quiet greeting, “Is she … is everyone okay?” Please let the twins be okay. Please, oh god. Please. His heart was in his throat and he wasn’t at all sure he was breathing. 

“Come on in.” Echo drew John further into the private room, letting the door fall closed as she did so. He walked with her over to the bed. Emori looked pale and her cheeks were flushed as if she had been crying. He reached for her hand and she pulled it away. So he pushed his hands into his pockets and said, “Hey … what’s going on?”

“I, umm, uh.” Emori was stumbling over her words and looked helplessly at Echo.

Echo interjected. “The babies are fine and technically so is Emori.” 

John’s gasp of pure relief was real and he slumped into the chair Echo had exited upon his arrival. He scrubbed a rough hand over his face and then looked between the women, “Technically?” he questioned.

Emori seemed to have found her voice, “I started having pain. Contractions. Echo and I were taking a walk and so she insisted I come here with her. I just wanted to go home. Apparently if I had …” Tears overflowed and her shoulders shook with the effort to suppress the sobs that threatened to erupt from her. Echo touched Emori’s arm and tried to calm her friend. “She’s just struggling with the what-ifs right now I think.” Echo murmured, “They got the contractions under control but she is going to be on bedrest for the rest of the pregnancy. This apparently isn’t uncommon with twins.” 

John was aware of that. He had been reading up diligently on childbirth and multiple pregnancies since finding out about the pregnancy. Frankly, a lot of it was terrifying. There were literally so many things that could go wrong. John leaned in, elbows resting on Emori’s hospital bed as he did so, “You did the right thing. You came here. Our babies are safe. You’re safe. That’s all that matters. We’ll get through. Couple boring months while you finish cooking up our little monsters … then I doubt they will let you be bored ever again.” John tried to lighten the mood with a little levity. 

Emori laughed, it was soft and watery but the tears had abated for now. She often lamented to him that she was always weepy and emotional now and it was making her crazy. However, this time the tears seemed entirely merited. John folded his hand over hers, taking the risk given her earlier rejection. This time she did not reject the overture. 

The young father-to-be looked up at Echo, “I have to go finish my last two weeks at work … then I can be in Polis. Do you think …” He started before Echo cut him off. She didn’t appear offended by the fact that John had some obligations to finish up.

“Absolutely. Me and the girls can get the routine in place and Emori set up at home before you get back.” Echo affirmed with a nod.

“Hey!” Emori protested, “Do I get a say in this?”

“No.” John and Echo replied in unison and then laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the fluff monster for the assist on this chapter. You're a star.


	6. Just in Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For all the things my hands have held the best by far is you.

Emori logged off and then closed the laptop. Her semi-monthly call with her brother was one of the few things she actually looked forward to in this new terrible version of her life. At this rather awful thought she felt a set of feet dance along her distended belly and she rubbed at the spot and murmured, “That’s enough now. I am sorry I’m grumpy. Mama doesn’t like being in bed all day.” At least her brother was doing well, his tour was up soon and he was returning to Polis by the fall. There was no small delight in that simple fact that her children would grow up with their uncle in their lives. Not that they were short of uncles. 

She and John may have lacked in terms of a biological family. However, they had an abundance of found family. John’s friends were wonderful, funny and clever. Indra had already sent a kind note and a pair of handmade blankets that she had for her own children. It was nice to know her children would have a grandmother as well. The gift made her cry, which made John apologize. She felt ridiculous. It was all she seemed to do anymore. It was as though her body was making up for all those years when she stubbornly refused to let herself release her emotions. Yesterday, she spilled her one allotted cup of coffee for the day and cried for an hour. 

However, her primary feeling of late was sheer boredom. She was an independent person. She put herself through school, got a great job, and even saved up enough money for the downpayment on her house. She was unaccustomed to relying on others and now she had to do so for the safety and well-being of herself and her children. She was trapped in her own bed. She tried the couch or other rooms in her house but the size of her belly and the nature of the angle just made the exercise uncomfortable. Too much moving around would send ribbons of cramps through her abdomen. The sensation reminded her of that terrible day in the park when the cramps became pain and she ended up in the hospital and ultimately on bedrest. The more she could avoid them the better. 

She had been a mess during her first week on bedrest and she was grateful that John had not been there to witness her in such a state. He called numerous times a day, to the point where she threatened that if he didn’t let at least five hours pass until his next call, she was going to block his number for an entire day. He was making her insane. Octavia and Raven set up her room so that it wasn’t quite so intolerable to be there. There was a nice bookshelf right next to the bed, stocked with reading materials. Raven built her a tea tray for the bed with long enough legs to go around her ever-expanding belly. Echo, the thoughtful woman that she was, set up every service imaginable. Emori had food delivery, cleaning people, and yard workers show up in rotation. She organized a schedule of visitors, even including a bathing schedule. Emori had been horrified at the idea of someone else helping her bathe until she had found herself cramping and sobbing on the bathroom floor after trying to bathe herself. A schedule of who would help wash her hair and keep her from overdoing it had become the new normal. Octavia was the best at washing her hair, which didn’t surprise her as Octavia always had fabulous hair despite working with horses.

By the time John returned, he was slotted into the schedule for all things except bathing. Thanks to Echo’s good sense, bathing stayed strictly under female supervision and care. Her phone buzzed beside her and she picked it up, almost snorting with laughter. Think of the devil and he shall appear. 

“Hey John.” she greeted quietly.

“Good afternoon Emori. Still in the mood for Thai tonight?” he replied easily. She did appreciate how he checked in, now that he dialed it down a little, but she still found herself having to refrain from snarling at him. This was, after all, his fault. Except it wasn’t. While she was in no mood for her rational better angels at the moment, she did want the pad thai so managed to do no more than grumble at him.

“Yeah … that’s fine. Extra spring rolls.” she replied. The words were polite. The tone was grumpy. 

“Will do. I also have the finalized reno plans. The building permit was approved. We’re a go to start.” 

Emori couldn’t help herself, she perked up at this news. John had proposed buying the house behind hers. At first she had been a little horrified. However, the more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea. She didn’t relish the idea of days passing without seeing the twins. This way neither of them would be in that position. John was absolutely slammed with getting enough time under his belt at his new position to take the parental leave he really wanted when the twins arrived. He was entitled to it since he had worked for the company for several years but there was still a positive impression he needed to make. This meant that when it came to choosing paint colours and flooring samples, he did not have the time. So she volunteered to help. It sounded crazy but since her children would be spending quite a lot of time there, it did make sense. He gave her a budget range and she had samples ordered to her house. When he came over, she usually had it narrowed down to a top three. They would debate and selections would be made. She kept a spreadsheet and was quite organized about it. Mbege declared her his favourite almost-kinda-sorta client of all time because she was timely and diligent about her work. There had also been some hints that once the twins had arrived, should she be looking for a job change, she’d make a great project manager. It was surprisingly tempting but an issue for another day.

The only problem with the arrangement is that she, all too often, pictured herself in the house. She had even started calling it ‘their big house’ since it had nearly double the space of her own home. John never said a word when she used that phrase but she did see the corners of his mouth tip into a little smug smile. The bastard. 

She enjoyed his company far more than she liked to admit. Emori had the good sense to be aware she was being grumpy and she kept waiting for the day that John lost his temper with her. He never did. Oh if she was being particularly snarky or just impossible to please, he would be a bit salty with her. However, he usually ended up doing it in a rather funny way that often made her laugh despite herself.

He gave her projects to do that were real and helpful, even in her current, ungainly and immobile position. One time, he even borrowed some fancy all terrain wheelchair and rolled her around the shell of the house so she could see the space for herself. It was a beautiful home and she could already see how she would want the garden to look and where the twins’ swing set and playset would go. Except, they weren’t really her gardens, they were his gardens. It was a bitter pill to swallow.

Every time he came over, he would ask permission to touch her and his hand would splay over her belly and he would talk to the twins. One time she woke up from a nap to find him reading to them. The minute he stopped, they kicked furiously. She hoped the reading to them trick worked when they were out in the world too. 

Once she made a comment about how ugly she was, so round like a beached whale, and it was the first time he ever seemed angry with her. The look in his eyes was intense as he leaned in and stated in words that seemed burned into her memory, “You have never been more beautiful. Never talk about yourself that way. Our children deserve so much more than a mother who doesn’t see how incredible she is.” His mouth had been inches from hers and she almost, almost leaned in. But then the door opened, Raven wandered in with a fresh drink and the moment was gone. She hadn’t dared speak ill of herself in front of him again, not because she was afraid of what he would do but of what she would do. How do you resist a man who still thinks of you like that? He had made her feel like a goddess on their single night together and she had convinced herself it was an ephemeral moment. She still liked the way he looked at her. She liked the way he introduced her to his friends and family. She just liked him if she were honest with herself. 

Emori did her best to help with the house project and stay in a semi-prone position at all times. Some days were fine, while some days were much harder to bear. However, every day the babies stayed inside - cooking as John called it - was better for their long-term health and well-being, and she could sacrifice for them. Even if the days dragged interminably but there was routine to them, punctuated with things like paint chips and fabric sample deliveries. Every evening John came over. They ate food, and she was surprised, and a little irritated to find he was a better cook than she was. Clearly, she was going to have to up her game. Conversation continued to flow easily between them, but Emori was surprised to find that she also felt completely at ease in silence with him. It had been lovely to be able to sit comfortably, while both tapped away on the computer or read, no need to fill silence with unnecessary noise. 

Her heart gave a little jump and she felt a rush of pleasure as she heard his voice calling from the entryway after unlatching the door.. The twins kicked ferociously, as if to say Daddy was home, where he belonged, and she wished she wasn’t so on board with the idea. He stuck his head into the room and grinned, “I’ll go dish up. Do you want the sparkling water with lemon again today or are you feeling sassy and want the strawberry flavoured?” 

It was a ridiculous thing to tease her about, lots of people like sparkling water with flavours. However, the way he teased her about it made her grin every time. “Shut up, John.” she muttered and he just laughed and disappeared again. She pushed off from the bed to make the short journey to her ensuite. She hated this little trip that she had to make every day, multiple times a day because the cramps would start to fire up and have her feeling emotional and more frightened than she liked to admit by the time she was back in the bed. 

Minutes later he was setting out the food on her tray while he pulled up her guest chair and settled into it with his own plate. “So, guess who has to go back next week for a few days?” John started. Despite herself, Emori felt a pang of unhappiness.

“What’s going on?” She asked in soft concern, trying to mask how much she disliked the idea of John leaving town, even for a few days, largely because she didn’t want to admit that dislike had very little to do with her current state.

John shrugged, clearly unhappy about it himself. “Yeah, turns out my successor has made an error on one of my projects. He’s been terminated but I have to go to do the presentation. It should be just two days but I do not like leaving, even for that long.” He stated calmly.

“Oh, well, two days won’t be so bad. I bet Raven would come stay for a day or two with me, you know, just in case.” Emori replied. 

“Sure you won’t miss me too much?” John joked and Emori laughed despite herself. Actually she was pretty sure she was going to miss him terribly. Every day she regretted the words she said to Otan that John had overheard. It had put some wall between them that she could not label or define but it was tangible nonetheless. There was a damage done that she had no idea how to repair, now that she was becoming more and more convinced she wanted something so much more with this gentle, funny man. She’d like to say she felt terrible about depriving her children of the two parent family they deserved, but they would be fine and have two loving parents and a host of extended family that would love them. No. She felt like she had accidentally thrown away something she personally wanted very much. She overheard Mbege talk about setting John up with one of his boyfriend’s cousins. Apparently she was a model. Get this - she modeled lingerie and bathing suits. Emori wanted to stab her in the eye. Maybe she was lovely. She’d still stab her though. The idea of her babies having some model step-mother made her feel very stabby indeed. 

Raven was, indeed, quite happy to come stay with her while John was out of town. The brilliant engineer was wonderful company, making some excellent Mexican food before regaling her with tales that had her laughing about insane clients and people who wanted everything for nothing or had a million dollar idea but no idea how to make it. As the day dragged on, her dear friend curled up with her in bed and they watched movies until Emori passed out on Raven’s shoulder. This night, Raven didn’t bother to get out of the bed, just tucked herself in, turned off Emori’s tv and fell asleep. Apparently that was the only reason they managed to get to the hospital so quickly. Raven woke up soaked in amniotic fluid and blood and tried to wake up her friend. When she wasn’t able to do so, Raven called 911, changed and was ready with Emori’s bag by the time the paramedics arrived.

Emori didn’t recall any of this but Raven relayed this story to her when she finally regained consciousness in the hospital. She was terrified as the pain ripped through her and the doctor was telling her not to push just yet. She wanted to push. She wanted drugs. She wanted it all to stop. Most of all, she wanted John. 

Echo was on one side, Raven was on the other and both were holding onto her for dear life. They were two of her favourite people in the world and still she whispered, “Is John here yet?” Raven just shook her head, “He’ll be here as soon as he can. Until then, we’ve got you, okay?” A worried little half smile was offered up as if that would be soothing. Emori wasn’t sure it was but tried to reciprocate. “It’s too soon. There’s supposed to be another two months. It’s too soon.” She whispered repetitiously as she tried not to cry. Still the tears could not be restrained and leaked down her cheeks in hot rivers. 

She had been in the hospital for nearly seven hours. They had tried to stop the contractions but none of the medication was working. Finally her OBGYN said, “Emori, the twins are coming today. The smaller twin’s heart rate is dipping dangerously low and not recovering, which suggests the baby isn’t getting enough oxygen. We think it is best for us to get them both out and stable. We have everything we need here. The NICU is ready to receive them. I know it is early but we will do everything we can to ensure your health and the health of the twins. The operating room is being prepared and we’ll be taking you in shortly. Do you have any questions?”

Emori knew they had prepared for this possibility. They had discussed it in detail. She had hoped for a natural birth but with twins that were already experiencing some signs of distress, it was unlikely. “Can we wait for John? I really wanted him to be here.” she whispered a little plaintively. 

The physician was empathetic but firm, “I’m afraid not. I understand he is on his way and will be here soon. Staff are prepared to direct him accordingly. He’ll join you as soon as he can, I am sure of it. Do you have any other questions?” 

Emori knew she should have some but honestly she couldn’t think of anything else other than she wanted John to be here. They had discussed this moment so many times, when they would finally get to see the twins and hold them. Now this moment was here and he wasn’t. 

They had transferred her to the gurney and Echo was walking with her when she heard the door open and a man’s voice call out, “Hey hey … I’m here, I’m here.” Emori’s chest felt like it was going to burst. Echo squeezed her hand and leaned forward to press a kiss to her dearest friend’s cheek, “Hear that … he’s here. I can see him. They are just getting him in the gown and making him scrub up. He’s coming.” Emori nodded and whispered, “You stay too, right?”

Echo nodded and grinned, “Absolutely. I’m not going anywhere.” 

Then she felt him, even before she saw him, felt his hand slid over hers and felt him lift it up to press a kiss to the back of it. Turning her head, Emori smiled up at him, a little bleary through all the turmoil of the last few hours. “Sorry I’m late.” John said quietly, “You know if you wanted to make a point about business trips, you could have gone a little more subtle.” He grinned, “I guess our monsters are tired of cooking and want to come out and play. Figures.” 

Despite herself Emori laughed, “You’re ridiculous.” 

“I know but being ridiculous is how I got me some monsters in the first place so it isn’t a quality I’m prepared to give up.” John stated with a significant lift to his eyebrows and then a wink. 

“I’m glad you’re here. Both of you.” Emori murmured, looking between John and Echo. A strange sort of calm had washed over her. Now that John was here, just in time, this felt manageable. She had to believe the twins would be alright. Polis had a world class neonatal unit. She had John. She had Echo. She had all their friends. They would be fine. They had to be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you DialedIn for the assist on the medical components as well as the beta read. I appreciate it so much!!


	7. Too Soon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s empty arms a mother dreads.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for surgical references, hospital references, NICU, medical danger and medically fragile infants. Spoiler Alert - no one dies but this is a very stressful situation. Please heed trigger warnings if this is too much for you.

The machines beeped around him, filling the quiet of the room. The babies here were too tiny to cry, too fragile to call for aid, relying on the beeps of the machines to tell their story and restore their warrior spirit. John sat in the rocking chair, slowly moving back and forth as one of his daughters nestled over his heartbeat. At the direction of the capable nurse, he had followed the twins out of the operating theatre as Echo remained with Emori. They had him remove his shirt and nestled the larger of the twins against his chest while they continued to work on his smaller daughter. They were both so tiny. He had known they would be small, known that twins often arrive early, and that had been terrifying enough but these tiny infants seemed impossibly fragile to him. Every time a nurse appeared, he asked after Emori but they had little to tell him. She was in recovery and still unconscious. She had lost consciousness during the surgery, requiring further medical intervention for the young mother. John didn’t quite understand it all, which only added to his stress and uncertainty. He wanted to be with his daughters but he never thought he’d be sitting here without Emori. It felt wrong. Everything about this situation felt wrong.

They hadn’t even settled on names yet. He didn’t even have a name for either of his tiny girls, and it was this thought that had him dashing tears out of his eyes and pressing rough fingers against his face to quell the flow. And Emori thought she was the weepy one, he scoffed to himself.

The nurses were incredibly kind, bringing him small things to be more comfortable and coffee or water when he said he needed a drink. They continued to assure him the best thing he could do was be here with his daughters as Emori recovered. He wanted to see her for himself. They kept telling him she was recovering well and as soon as she was awake and able to move, they would bring her in to sit with their daughters as well. 

It didn’t occur to him to ask for his phone. Indra and Mbege would come tomorrow, bringing food and a change of clothing. They loved Emori. Of course they did - she was infinitely loveable. They welcomed her as easily as they did him and he would never forget Indra’s face when Emori offhandedly referred to her as the grandma. With Gaia’s career aspirations and her son’s unwillingness to commit, he suspected she wasn’t sure she would bear that title any time in the near future, if ever. Emori had opened her heart to Indra and Indra was delighted to slide into the role of grandmother and promised not to be overbearing. It made him laugh when Echo asked if she could keep her too. Then Octavia said the same. Indra had practically been glowing when she assured them there was room at her table for all of them.

Emori did that. He hadn’t even realized that his sort-of, almost mother had been lonely and Emori had extended herself without his request to let in people that were important to him so they too would have a role in the twins’ lives. She was such a good person. His heart gave a hard squeeze as he thought of her. He knew she did not feel the same way about him. He was the father to her children that she wished she could swap out with someone else.

What was that old word - unrequited? Yeah, that was it, unrequited love was sad and Shakespearean in its level of pathos. Still, it was the reality of his life. However, he was a grown ass man and capable of accepting a rejection gracefully, so he set his sights on something else entirely. John aimed for friends. Two friends could raise beautiful and healthy children together. They could express concern and help each other out. Eventually he knew he’d have to move on, date and even get serious with someone else. He just figured that changing jobs, renovating a house, moving cities, and figuring out how to parent was quite enough to be going on for now. Dating could come later. 

John looked up as the door opened and saw Echo. His smile was pure relief, “Is she alright?”

Echo nodded, “Yes. She’s still sleeping so I thought I would come check on the girls before heading back in.” She crouched beside the chair and stared in wonder at the delicate baby on John’s chest. His hand cupped her entire body and held her in place.

“They say the heartbeat and body heat is good for her but they won’t let her out of her incubator.” He nodded at the other twin as he spoke. He had been watching her as the machines worked their magic and kept his tiny daughter alive. 

“Is she okay?” Echo asked, unshed tears making her voice more husky than usual. John felt it too and shook his head, “I don’t know. The specialist is coming in first thing in the morning.” He cleared his throat to clear out the emotion. “We hadn’t decided on names yet. We were still making lists and reading books and …” John had to stop because he could feel that prickle again and he wasn’t ready to break down. He had the horrible feeling there would be time for that later. 

Echo’s hand touched his shoulder and he met her gaze. “Take care of Emori, okay? I’ll stay with the girls.”

She nodded and gave his shoulder a squeeze. “I will, John. It’s going to be alright. I have to believe that, for both of you.” she assured him quietly before sliding from the quiet room again.

The hours passed and soon he saw the shifts change and new nurses, refreshed and cheerful enter the ward. He was still rocking his one daughter as the other fought to keep herself alive. The sun rose, brightening the small room and he felt a ray of optimism. It was the next morning and both girls were still here with him. The nurse bustled in and plucked away his tiny daughter and he almost snatched her back compulsively. She smiled at him kindly though and he was ashamed of his instant and negative reaction. 

“The specialist is here and she would like the opportunity to examine the twins. If you’d like to go sit with the mother, she’ll be right in to meet with you. Also there are some people waiting I think.” The nurse explained as she handled his tiny daughter, changing her diaper. She was careful but John didn’t really like leaving. His feet felt as though he had lead in his soles. He stopped in the washroom to scrub up to a decent level of cleanliness. 

Indra had a bag of goods for them both. Clothing, food, drinks and most of all a hug for him that warmed him to his bones. Mbege followed it with one of his own. “Come by later and I’ll give you an update. The specialist is looking at them now so we hope to have news soon.”

The older woman nodded sagely, “I’ll be by after work and I’ll bring more food for the pair of you. Give our love to Emori too.” John nodded in agreement. “Of course. I haven’t seen her yet so I’m going there now.” he explained.

Pushing open the door to her room, John tentatively stepped inside. He was never sure of his welcome with Emori but, at the same time, there was nowhere else he’d rather be. 

“John!” she exclaimed and struggled to sit up. 

Echo leapt to her feet and scolded her. “No …. That’s what the elevation button is for, for goodness sake.” She pressed the lever so that Emori was more upright. John held up the bag a little. “Indra and Mbege came by. We have food if we want it, including a thermos of decent coffee if you want a cup.” he offered quietly as he sagged into the chair beside Emori’s bed and reached out his hand for hers. She touched it tentatively. 

“The babies?” she asked.

“I’ve been with them all night. They are still doing well. I promise. They are so strong, just like their mom.” John murmured, wanting to offer assurances but didn’t know if he had them to give.

“I should have been there. I can’t believe it. I should have …” Emori started to cry and he put his arms around her, moving up to half sit on the edge of the bed so he could just hold her. “You were recovering. They needed you to get well so you could be strong. I was there. I promise. I told them all the time how much their Mama loved them. All night. Told them that they would feel better once their Mama held them but silly old Daddy would have to do for now.” He whispered to her. It was mostly nonsense but he’d say about anything to get her to stop crying. It was breaking his heart to see her so crushed. 

They sat together for a while, just holding onto each other, and after, he finally managed to persuade her to eat some of Indra’s food and sip a little coffee and water. He changed his shirt, unconcerned about the sharing of the room. She’d seen him naked after all and could probably care less right now, or well, ever. John had almost nodded off despite the stress of it all when there was a tap on the door. Emori adjusted the bed and tried not to flinch at the pain.

John rose to his feet and reached down to fold his hand over Emori’s. The specialist smiled but it was that professional smile that John recognized all too well. “Well I am pleased to report that one of your daughters gives every indication of being healthy despite her small size. She’ll need additional supports but I have been assured they are in place. She is accepting nutrients through a tube right now but that is to be expected. She has already urinated and defecated, which I know sounds unfortunate but actually is a great sign of good health.” John and Emori both nodded, because this felt like a looming ‘but’ and they were both shaking a little. He could feel her terror radiating off of her and he was sure he was much the same. 

“However, your smaller daughter has a ventricular septal defect, basically she has a hole in her heart and unfortunately, it requires repair. The plus side is that once repaired and if she recovers from the surgery, this kind of surgery has an excellent long term prognosis.” The specialist continued. 

“If?” Emori interrupted in a husky whisper. 

The specialist nodded, “Operating on any infant puts them at an increased risk of both short and, sometimes long-term, health risks and there is a possibility she will not survive it.” She cleared her throat, “But it is certain she will not survive unless she has the surgery. I have already contacted the surgeon. He is the best and we were fortunate that he was immediately available. This is a high risk surgery but I assure you I would not be recommending it unless I thought it was absolutely necessary.” 

John looked down at Emori and then back up at the physician, “Can … can Emori hold her before she goes into surgery? She hasn’t even held her yet.” His voice broke over the words, tears tracing down his cheeks, unabashed. “She should be held by her mother at least once. At least …” He wasn’t sure he could breath but he had to say it.

Emori wasn’t speaking, she was just staring at the physician and the specialist. Tears were pouring down her face and John felt her hand in his, squeezing to the point he thought his bones would break but he didn’t think of pulling away. He let her squeeze, let her break him if needed, if that was what got her through the next few hours. 

“How soon?” he asked quietly.

“The first opening for the only theatre prepared for infants is tonight. With your consent, I’ll send the surgeon all examination records so that he can prepare.” Their OBGYN stated quietly.

John drew a ragged breath and nodded, “Of course. Send him everything, anything he needs.” The next few minutes were a strange flurry of documents, paperwork and signed consents. Risk of death were words that appeared all too often but what choice did they have? They had to … they had to do this for their daughter. 

Once the flurry settled, a strange and sickly sort of calm washed over the man. John was shocked to realize it was already the middle of the afternoon. He hadn’t slept in nearly 48 hours and it looked like no rest was coming any time soon. Emori was assisted out of bed and was led to their daughters. It caught his attention as he entered the room that there were no other parents in there. There were several tiny infants, just like his girls, but he and Emori were the only parents. Why were they so alone? 

Seeing Emori with their daughters touched his heart. Oh please let all these magical, wonderful girls be okay. I need all of them. I cannot bear to part with any of them. Please, oh God, please. He hadn’t prayed much before meeting Emori but now he needed to send these thoughts into the universe. He would grasp at any straw for his daughters to live.

In just a few short hours, he and Emori were spelling off sitting with their daughter while they waited for news of their tiniest baby. It was hard for Emori to sit completely upright but she managed it for a few hours at a time to hold their larger baby, now known as Baby A until she was given a real name, as the other, their tiny Baby B was wheeled away and into surgery. In the waiting room were all the people they loved. All of them, except Emori’s brother, Otan, who was desperately trying to find a way to get back early and had yet to manage it. There was food everywhere, that people were picking at in that absent way that people do when they were stressed. Octavia’s Lincoln finally made an appearance, sitting with the petite brunette in his lap as he slowly rubbed her back. Raven was pacing, unable to hold still and wanting to fix something, anything. Monty had some familiarity with the terrors of childbirth but nothing on this level. He and Harper were making conversation with some of the others, distracting everyone with nonsense. Maya was knitting. She had already finished one pretty blanket and was trying to finish the other as if that would somehow restore their good luck. Jasper was holding her wool and the two were sitting quietly together in that way that couples do when they just know that presence is a comfort. Mbege was silent, waiting for news stoically as his boyfriend kept bringing food and making everyone fresh coffee, even though they were not drinking it. Echo was curled up beside Indra as the older woman just kept patting her hand and assuring her, it would all work out. Those girls were meant to be.

They were delightful words: Meant to be. 

Murphy had spelled off with Emori again and made his way to the waiting room. He felt worn to the point of being see-through and as he entered the room, Indra rose to her feet and pulled him into a hug. “No news yet.” he mumbled as Echo pressed coffee into his hand stating, “You look like you could use something stronger but I don’t think that’s allowed.” 

His smile was almost involuntary. “Thank you Echo. For everything. It means a lot.”

Echo touched his arm lightly and gave it a squeeze, “I would do anything for Emori and for you John. You’re family.” 

He had barely sat down beside Mbege when the nurse appeared in the entry. “If you’ll come back, Mr. Murphy.” It was crisp and professional and gave nothing away. He was so exhausted but he couldn’t stop himself from rising to his feet and hurrying after the nurse. There was a collective build of tension in the room. When he got back to the NICU room, the surgeon was waiting and so was Emori. He felt rooted in place as he waited for the physician to start speaking but the woman was a professional and spoke firmly but succinctly.

“She is out of surgery and doing very well. We saw immediate improvement when we closed her up. She is quite the fighter. I’m very optimistic. There is still a long road ahead but I think the odds are improving in her favour.”

John felt all the oxygen in the world at once and swayed slightly before righting himself. He felt Emori’s hand fold into his and looked down at her. 

“She made it, John.” she whispered, her voice rough with unshed tears.

“Of course she did.” he replied with more confidence than he felt, “She is your daughter and you are the strongest person I have ever met.” 

“We should give them names.” Emori’s smile started to warm, the first time he’d seen her really smile since going into the delivery room. 

“Yeah … i have some ideas on that one.” he agreed, “And I think you might like them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to DialedIn for her assist on the medical knowledge as well as the beta read. I appreciate you. Hope this Chapter meets with your approval.


	8. Too Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home at Last

**_“funny how our hearts were designed to love so fiercely,_ **

**_but break ever so gently.”_ **

Two days after her original due date, Emori waited with Echo by the hospital entrance as John pulled his vehicle around. The last two months had been the blink of the eye and a year all at once. Yet, every time Emori felt herself brush against that terrible feeling of it being all too much, she would be reminded of the blessings she had received. She was recovering well from her surgery and her OBGYN was pleased with her progress. She was just happy to be able to move her body without wanting to cry. 

The twins were growing every day, finishing off the growth they should have had while they were ‘cooking’ as John put it. Once both girls could successfully take a bottle, they were advised they could be discharged and finally return home. Their friends had proven once again to be exceptional. Every day, food was delivered to the hospital and if John had to work, someone else would come by to make sure she was doing all right with the girls. Octavia came by with her stories and comfort and seemed in awe of these tiny, perfect babies. Maya finished off her precious, soft blankets. At this moment, each girl had their own nestled around them over their little sleep sacs, inside their carriers, with all the additional buffering they required for their small size.

Emori had been terrified of being home, alone, with the girls. They were still so fragile. Then Monty, Harper and Jasper approached her and John. They offered, as their baby gift, to pay for a specialist nurse to assist Emori on the days John couldn’t be home with her. They had already located someone, who was ready to start, had amazing references and was genuinely lovely. She was an experienced professional who knew how to care for medically fragile infants. Jordan apparently had already given the seal of baby approval. Emori had protested that it was too much. It had to be too much, because anyone with that much training had to be incredibly expensive. She looked at John, who watched his friends with sharp eyes that quickly filled with tears. He just nodded, and then looked over at her. “I think we should say yes. At least for the first couple of months … they … this is what family does. You know the only problem is Raven’s gonna be pissed she didn’t think of it first.” 

That made Emori laugh because it rang very true. These were John’s dearest friends and they wanted to do this for her, for him and for their daughters. So she turned to them with tears in her eyes and said, “Thank you.’ The hugs circled the room that day and the nurse was officially hired, to start shortly after her return to her little house.

John and Echo had acquired all the necessary items while she was in the hospital, while Mbege and Raven set them up properly in both houses, just in case. Emori’s personal favourite was the alarm mat for their cribs that would go off if either of the babies stopped breathing. The peace of mind that afforded her could not be expressed in words. They had monitors and special equipment, everything one could need to care for their two tiny fighters. 

The days grew busier, harder, and yet better all at the same time as the girls thrived, turning from tiny things that slept most of the day to babies with all the needs and irascibility of a newborn. The preferred sleeping spot was still John’s chest. Apparently they liked it as much as she did. 

The drive home was slow and careful. The girls slept the entire journey and Emori felt her body relax as they finally left the hospital. Aside from check-ups, she did not want to go back there for a long, long time. As the vehicle turned onto her street, she dreamed of her own bed, being able to putter in her own kitchen and sitting outside with her girls in the late summer weather. 

The nurse had stopped by for a visit already and she had a kind manner while also being rather brisk and forthright. She reminded Emori of Echo and as such, she liked her immediately. The woman made it clear she wasn’t there to boss Emori about. She was there to assist in care and ensure Emori got the rest and recuperation she would need, which was music to her ears. These were her daughters. Well her and John, and she didn’t want to spend their entire infancy being overridden. After the nurse left, she immediately texted Harper to convey her thanks. As the only other mom she knew, she and Harper had become fast friends and she had the feeling their three children would know one another for a lifetime. 

As the vehicle pulled into her drive and John climbed out, he turned around and then reached around to tap Emori on the shoulder. “Echo and I will get the girls out. You have a visitor.”

Emori turned, frowning lightly as she did so, “I can do it, Jo….” She didn’t finish her sentence, she just ran. There, on her front porch, tanned from the desert sun, was her brother. “Otan.” She gasped out as she flung herself into his arms. Her family was complete. Everything she needed was right here and safe. She squeezed him so hard that he finally protested and set her back on her feet, hands on her shoulders as he pushed her back.

“Where are these nieces you’ve been promising me?” Otan teased and Emori’s laugh was a watery one but it was genuine. John approached with a carrier in each hand as Echo trailed behind with the bags. Emori hastily unlocked the door and ushered everyone inside. John placed the carriers on the kitchen counter so that everyone could have a good look at the sleeping pair of infants.

“Otan, I’d like you to meet our littlest one and the toughest baby in town according to John, Octavia Rae, known as Rae, and her big sister and queen of the snuggles, Indra Ash. It’s already been shortened to Indy, over her grandmother’s protests.” Emori explained proudly. 

The names had been John’s idea. Harper and Monty had set the precedent by naming their son after Monty’s brother from another mother, best friend for life, Jasper Jordan. It seemed fitting to continue the tradition. Rae was short for Raven of course, who instantly approved of her semi-namesake. Octavia had survived genuinely terrible times and came out a strong, kind and compassionate person. If her daughter could borrow a little of that strength, Emori would be grateful. Octavia cried when she told her, pledging to be the best aunt in all the world, but it was clear she would have competition in this group.

Indra was someone dear to John and she loved the woman’s kindness and warmth. She couldn’t imagine a better grandmother to her daughters or a better namesake. No one but she, Echo and John knew where the Ash came from - it was Echo’s birth name before her Aunt had taken her in and changed it, refusing to let the girl have anything given to her by her mother, a woman her Aunt despised. Echo had shared that story years ago and given her permission to share it with John but no further. Her dearest friend in the world had a little thrill of having a secret, almost namesake, in Emori’s daughter. 

Otan smiled broadly, “Grandmother? Do I get in on this action too?” 

John smiled at the question, “You’re in for it now. Once she takes you in, you’re hers for life. She’s a dragon.”

“Sounds like that’s just what this family needs, a few dragons who never let go. Your daughters are beautiful Emori. Absolutely perfect.” Otan’s reply was soft, his gaze assessing as he evaluated this man who had impregnated his sister. Emori could see what he was doing and gave him a nudge with her shoulder. She also didn’t miss the way Echo was looking at her brother, aware that the ridged scars down one cheek now darkened with a tan and his close cropped fair hair made him look particularly handsome to her friend. She just wasn’t sure she wanted her brother to be another mark on Echo’s bedpost.

John did not appear abashed or offended by Otan’s sharp look. “All right. I got food in already so lunch will be served shortly since these two misses will be up all too soon for eats of their own.” 

“Fair enough. I’ll help. Excuse us ladies.” Otan nodded at Echo and dropped a kiss on the top of Emori’s head. She knew he was looking forward to holding his nieces but only fools woke up sleeping babies and Emori wanted them to sleep at least another hour before she disturbed them to eat.

The days passed in a blur after that first day at home. Otan visited several times a week, and Rae adored him particularly, always content to have him slowly dance her around the room until she fell asleep. As if imprinted on it, Indy still much preferred to go to sleep on her father’s chest. John was there as often as work permitted and while they had their moments where she felt compelled to lay down some boundaries, he always respected them when she did so. 

It got to be that her least favourite part of every day was when he crossed the back garden and went to his own house. She tried not to seem pathetic about it but it was hard. Sometimes it would just be nice to let her own head rest on that firm chest that her daughters had claimed and sleep. While some days were harder than others, she was grateful she did not have that overwhelming postpartum sadness that she had read about in detail. The nurse, Margaret, assured her that if she ever got that sense, she wouldn’t hesitate to advise John to report it to her doctors but so far had seen no more than the typical, emotional ups and downs of a new mother under normal circumstances, never mind the additions of prematurity and multiples. The woman was full of praise but said in such a crisp manner that you simply had to take her at her word. Margaret did not bullshit. She was supportive and firm and knowing she could rest because Margaret was in the other room was a profound relief. 

Indy and Rae were thriving. Her little house was fully bursting now and she had never been more busy in her life. With John’s support, she took a longer leave from work, not even something she would have to consider until well after Christmas. There was only one part of her life that remained outstanding - John. 

After being back for a month, Otan had looked at and said, “So he really wasn’t good enough?” The tone was questioning and sincere. She had rebuffed the question with a light joke and then felt guilty for days afterwards. John was more than good enough. He was an incredible father, who had amazing friends and worked hard without complaint or whining. Sometimes when they were standing close or discussing the girls, she wondered what it would be like to just lean in and kiss him, but she could never muster the courage. His focus was on their daughters, as it should be, and if she ruined that or made it uncomfortable for him to be here, she wasn’t sure she could ever forgive herself.

Emori could never quite recall what she had said that day to Otan in the video call that John overheard and she had rather hoped he had let it fade into dust as well, so many months later. Then it came to be that she and Otan were in the kitchen having a chat while she made lunch (or actually reheated what John made since he was a much better cook) and she could hear Mbege and John talking over the baby monitor. She had been about to reach over and turn it off, since it was distracting when she heard Mbege say, “So do you still think she wishes someone else was the father?” Her hand froze and her mouth ran dry. The spoon in her hand dripped on the counter and she didn’t notice.

She heard John’s laugh but it was one of the ones he did when something hurt or made him uncomfortable and wasn’t actually funny. His “deflection laugh” as she thought of it. “Probably.”

“Really?” Mbege questioned. Emori wanted to hug him for the doubt in his voice. Thank you Mbege.

“Yeah. Really. But I won’t let them down. Not ever. None of them.” He pledged and she could hear the ferocity in his voice and Mbege’s reply, “I know Murphy. You haven’t and you won’t.” There was a moment of throat clearing and then Mbege continued, “Besides Mom would kill you.” John laughed, a real one this time, and the moment was gone. 

She clicked off the small speaker and glanced at her brother with tears in her eyes, “Why ... why would he think that?” she whispered.

Otan shrugged, “That’s what you said when you first told me about him. Not the dad you wanted, the one you ended up with basically.”

“I did?” Her voice was barely audible. 

“For what it's worth, I think he’s a great dad. It’s a shame you weren’t interested in something with him personally but I don’t think you could have picked out a better father.” Otan offered carefully, as if still not sure what to do with this more emotional version of his sister. 

Emori nodded at Otan’s words but couldn’t think around the buzzing in her own head. John thought she wanted any other father for her daughters. John who did everything, rearranged his entire life, who went without sleep, who renovated an old house that he barely got to spend time in, just to make it all work for her. He told her all the time she was a wonderful mother and that she was doing great. At this moment she couldn’t recall if she had ever told him that he was a wonderful father, that he was doing great, or simply thanked him for everything he had done. She had a horrible feeling that she hadn’t done any of those things. 

Emori glanced up when she heard footsteps in the hall. John smiled from the entry. “We’re heading out now. The girls are down, mats are turned on, white noise machine on, and I adjusted the blinds.” He relayed briskly. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

“Have a good afternoon John. Nice to see you again Mbege.” Otan replied since Emori seemed incapable of it.

“You too.” Mbege returned politely and they were gone.

Otan looked at her as if she were made of spun glass, which ordinarily would have annoyed her but she felt like it at this moment. “Are you okay?”

She nodded slowly and went back to stirring. “Fine. Everything’s fine.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to DialedIn for her knowledge and editing prowess. I appreciate all of your time and assistance. Thank you to everyone who leaves a comment. I'll take them all - constructive criticism is appreciated here. I hope you enjoy this chapter, it made me a little emotional but I'm a soggy kinda girl. Have a great day!


	9. Just in Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Magic

**_“When it comes to love do not ever settle for anything less than magical.”_ **

John hung the last stocking on the mantle and then stepped back. “Damnit.” he muttered to himself. It was still crooked. After much discussion and deliberation, it was decided that Christmas would be held at his house. Emori had a lovely house but it was small and their family unit was enormous. While there would be a few absent friends as Monty, Harper and baby Jordan were at Monty’s parents’ house for the day and Jasper and Maya were at her’s, they would still have a full house. John’s house was simply more conducive to their guest list. 

John had recruited assistance with the holiday set up. Octavia and her boyfriend, Lincoln, had come over with the tree. John had never intentionally decorated for the holidays previously and when Octavia admitted she had never done so either, Lincoln and Emori had been equally horrified. So John and Octavia were on a holiday ride like no other. Lincoln in particular had insisted that it be a fresh tree and cut it down himself. Even John had agreed this was hot as fuck.

His house was a hive of activity as he made sure to get in plenty of food and alcohol while the others tended to the decoration. It had been a fun, if exhausting, time. He would have been happy just to have a day with his girls, but celebrating the holiday to its full extent was a production. At the same time, it was also a wonderful opportunity to thank so many of their friends for all they had done over the year. They were truly blessed.

Indy squeaked from her swing and John nodded sagely, as if she had shared a particularly wise thought, “I agree. Crooked. I might have to decide it is a deliberate aesthetic choice because it is not shifting no matter how hard I try.” He finished his task, hanging the rest of the family stockings on the mantle while he sang along with the holiday music and talked to his daughter. He had read that talking to infants as if they were contributing to the conversation aided in development and it had become routine for him to talk or sing constantly when either of the babies were around. 

When he heard the tap at his back door, he flung it open and grinned. “There’s my little sunshine.” He crooned as he scooped the baby out of Emori’s arms and started peeling off her winter clothing. “Everything go alright?” 

Emori was breathless , with pink cheeks from the cold. She nodded and dusted the snow off her coat before hanging it up in the mudroom. “She was a champ about it. Absolute star. Dr. Jackson says he’ll check again next month but overall, doesn’t see any vision impairment.” 

John grinned broadly and kissed the tip of Rae’s nose. “Clever girl.” he whispered to the baby. Vision impairment was a common long-term side effect of the surgery when performed on premature infants. It was still possible but the longer she went without showing signs the better her chances were for just having glasses versus substantive vision issues. 

John waited for Emori to divest herself of her winter’s clothing. “So we are looking good for tomorrow morning. Are you sure you don’t want me to walk over and help you get the twins ready?” he offered as they strolled back into the now heavily decorated living room. Emori already had Indy up in her arms and was giving her daughter a gentle snuggle.

Both girls were squiggly little beans now and it amazed John every day to see them show their personality. He had no idea that parenting could be this much fun. Most of the beginning had been stressful, exhausting and overwhelming. It still had its moments but it was also silly, funny and endearing. They were becoming whole people instead of little blobs of need.

“Yeah, it’ll be fine. Raven is coming to my house first and we’ll come on over with the girls for Christmas morning.” Emori explained with a nod. 

“Good. Can you believe it? We made it all the way to Christmas!” John laughed out as he settled Rae on her tummy. Maya’s blanket for the little girl was becoming worn but it remained Rae’s favourite so they couldn’t take it out of rotation. John reached for his glass and settled on the floor next to his daughter while she tried to figure out how to get the edge of the blanket in her mouth. 

“That stocking is …” Emori started and John interrupted with a laugh, “I know … crooked. I can’t get it to lay straight.” He shook his head in frustrated amusement. She seemed to find his exasperation with the non-compliant stocking to be entertaining and continued to laugh at him. 

“Be nice.” he scolded a little grumpily, which only made her giggle more. He wasn’t actually upset. The first few months had been so tense, it was nice to see Emori finally relax. By late October it suddenly occurred to both of them that they could breathe: their daughters were doing really well, and parenting was going really well too. It finally felt like they could do this. John tried hard to be respectful of all of Emori’s boundaries while spending as much time with the girls as he could. He’d spend every minute there if he could but he also knew that he ran the risk of wearing out his welcome. So he forced himself to leave every night. Some nights were harder than others but he couldn’t afford to lose his privileges. Everything was contingent on Emori’s continued goodwill.

One of the reasons he was happy about the Christmas season was that in the New Year, Emori would be transitioning back to work on a modified schedule, which meant he would get actual one on one time or really one on two time with the twins. Not that he didn’t enjoy spending that time with Emori. Quite the opposite really, because he liked it far too much. However, he wasn’t her man, wasn’t her husband. He was simply the baby daddy she hadn’t wanted, and he couldn’t forget that simple fact, or he might do something he regretted and spoil the friendship he had developed with her. There were times when he caught her looking at him. However, he wasn’t sure what it meant and he feared her judgment above all else. Every now and then she tried to tell him he was a good father but it felt like she was saying it like she was surprised that _even he_ was a good father. He wasn’t sure if she meant it that way but that was what he heard.

They spent the evening finishing the decorating and then he helped her carry the twins back to her house and helped tuck them in for the night. He smiled at Emori as he pulled on his boots and shrugged into his jacket. “I’ll see you in the morning.” 

“John?” she asked quietly, in that tentative voice that always put a pit of worry into his gut.

“Yeah?” he replied quietly and looked over at her as she stood framed in the doorway, “Do you need me to take out the garbage or something?” he offered, hoping it was something that simple. His greatest fear was that one day she would restrict his access to the girls, with some sort of statement like - I’ve decided you can see the girls every Tuesday and Thursday and alternating weekends. So every time she started any conversation with that quiet, tentative voice, his gut churned and he had to remind himself to stay calm and he was probably just overthinking it.

“No … it’s .. never mind. Not important.” She nodded. It was as though she had made a decision, but frankly, it didn’t make him feel any better. He hated this feeling of being on tenterhooks but at the same time, it was the reality of his life. He would do anything to stay part of his daughters’ lives. So he replied quietly, “Have a good sleep. We’ll see you in the morning.” 

“Okay. Good night.” John walked back to his house slowly. He pondered Emori’s words, reading far too much into it probably but he couldn’t stop himself. He knew he would never have heard from her again if she hadn’t gotten pregnant and since she hadn’t wanted him in her life then, he had never been able to persuade himself that she wanted him in it now. If she was dating, he’d throw up and lose his mind. He knew it was inevitable but he really hoped she’d wait, you know, a year, or two, or five, or until the twins had completed grad school and had children of their own. He sighed and thought he should consider dating himself but the idea of trying to find anyone he felt this way for aside from Emori felt like an impossible hurdle.

The next morning went as well as expected. By early afternoon, Indy and Rae were each on outfit two and three respectively since they kept spitting up on them. He had Indy cradled against him, her little back to his chest and one of his hands cupping her diapered butt. She loved to look out at the crowd as she wiggled her feet. She was becoming quite the little ham. Emori was holding Rae, cradled against her chest and she swayed back and forth with her as the baby was drifting off to sleep. 

He was standing in the entry to the living room, where most of their friends were gathered. Otan had surprised everyone by showing up that morning, hand in hand, with Echo. Emori was worried, he could tell, but judging by the happiness on Echo’s face, John thought that perhaps this turn of events was a very good thing indeed.

Emori approached and smiled up at John, opening her mouth to speak when Raven, who was, by this point, more than a little drunk, interrupted. “Ohhhh you’re under the mistletoe. You have to kiss now!” The last was at a near shout so that everyone turned to look. John’s head shot up and sure enough, mistletoe. He wasn’t sure who put that there because it certainly wasn’t him. Fuck. 

He looked over at Emori and knew he was in a situation that he had diligently avoided since that chilly day on Emori’s front porch when he found out exactly what she had thought about him. Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck. With a smile of good humour, John laughed and nodded, “All right then. Kiss for you.” He deposited a kiss on the top of Indy’s head. “Kiss for you.” He ducked his head and brushed a kiss over the back of Rae’s head. “And a kiss for you too.” John took a breath and leaned in to dust a kiss over Emori’s cheek. 

Except she turned her head at the last moment and his kiss landed close to the corner of her mouth. If his friends hadn’t been watching, he would have apologized. He straightened and went to step back when Emori’s hand came up and caught at his arm. Rising up on her toes and delicately making sure not to cause any collision with the babies, she caught his mouth in a kiss. A real one. He leaned into it, unable to resist, and he kissed her as if his soul depended on it. It had been over a year since the last time he had kissed this woman, kissed anyone really, and goddamnit, it was as magical as he remembered. 

John reluctantly broke off the kiss with a groan and their friends cheered, laughing all the while. Everyone except Echo who watched with speculative eyes. The kiss was extraordinary. Emori was flushed and giggling as she rejoined the others in the living room.

However, John was furious. Absolutely fucking furious. He tried to hide it behind good cheer and casual conversation. The day dragged on, dinner was served, and everyone ate and drank in abundance. Echo and Otan set themselves to cleaning duty and John was confident the two had been making out in his kitchen while doing it. Hard to complain though when they also managed to scrub the room down to an Indra approved level of cleanliness.

It was hours later and he was walking with Emori to carry the girls across the snow packed yards to their mother’s house so they could be tucked in for at least a few hours of good sleep. John was still livid. He could barely contain himself. As he placed the girls’ gifts into Emori’s living room to be sorted later, he tried to find the words he wanted to say while also maintaining some level of friendship between them. 

“Are you alright, John?” Emori asked quietly, as if picking up on his emotional state at last. 

“We need to talk for a minute.” John started and then sighed, running his hand through his hair roughly and trying to keep his temper in check. 

“Of course. If this was about the …” She started and he interrupted, “Of course it is about that … it wasn’t fair of you to do that to me. You never get to do that again. Ever.”

“I … I …” her mouth opened and closed as if astonished. Her eyes filled with tears.

“No … you don’t get to cry. That’s not fair either. You don’t get to play with me and how I feel about you. I am not a game that you can pick up and play once a year when it suits you.” He stated firmly, trying hard not to raise his voice so he didn’t disturb the twins but the suppressed anger was evident.

“How you feel?” Emori asked, as if that were a real question. He made an unbecoming scoffing noise and turned away for a second, trying to compose himself. He moved slowly, looking back at Emori, and tried to speak calmly as he replied.

“Listen, I get it. I’m just some guy you fucked one time cause you were, I don’t know, bored or something and you don’t want me in your life. Well too bad. You’re stuck with me. I’ll respect every boundary you lay down, I do whatever you want, but don’t you dare kiss me like you give a shit. Don’t you dare make fun of how much I love you, when you don’t love me back. You made it clear that I wasn’t the one you wanted. We have an arrangement that works. Don’t fuck with it. Don’t fuck with me. I’m not a joke, Emori. I’m a lot of things but I am not a joke.” John growled. 

He brushed past her and started roughly pulling on his boots and jacket again as Emori trailed into the hall after him. There were tears on her cheeks and later he would absolutely hate himself for making her cry on Christmas Day of all days but right now he was still fuming. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it again when he stated firmly, “I’ll be over tomorrow. I’ll text before I come.” He would have loved to have slammed the door behind him but parenthood had already instilled other considerations in him and he closed the door behind him with a quiet snick, leaving Emori alone, just the way she wanted it.

John was in too much of a mood to sit when he came home so he started cleaning. The first thing that he went after were the stupid Christmas decorations. He took every box out of the storage room in the basement and had half the living room stripped and boxed away when he heard a tap at the door. Some of his temper had faded and right now he just felt embarrassed by his emotional outburst. Emori had just been goofing around, it wasn't her fault that he was a complete idiot who couldn’t handle a simple kiss from a woman. She was being playful and he had taken it way too seriously. He should never have blown up at her. 

Tugging open the door, he was surprised to see Emori standing there. He had assumed someone forgot their cell or something. “Oh … the girls?” he questioned with a vague gesture toward her house.

“Echo and Otan came over. I called them.” Emori replied softly as she stepped past him and into the house. Oh shit. She called in backup, which did not bode well for whatever was about to happen. 

John took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he shut the door behind her. She had walked right past him and rather than turn toward the living room, she had gone down the hall, toward the bedrooms. Ah fuck fuck fuckity fuck. She was standing in the centre of his bedroom when he finally found her. She had helped design the room but had never been in it before. She was fingering the design of the duvet pattern when he entered.

“Listen Emori, I owe you ….” John started and fell silent as Emori held up her hand. “Please. I let you say your piece and I’d appreciate the same respect.” He flushed in embarrassed recollection of his childish rant.

“Of course.” he replied with a nod.

“That night was not because I was bored. I met someone I thought was handsome and charming and I loved every second we spent together. It was …” She took a breath and then smiled in that way that never failed to slice him right in his heart, “magical. It was the most magical night of my life. And when I woke up, I thought I couldn't let this get tarnished by finding out you were boring, mean, or absent. I wanted to preserve the magic. So I left.” 

It stung that she hadn’t even thought there was anything worth sticking around for but he supposed he could try to understand. He wasn’t sure he had ever really forgiven her for disappearing, though to be fair, she had never asked for his forgiveness either. It had just been an unspoken thing between them.

“I wish I had been brave enough to stay.” Emori continued and he looked over at her in pure surprise. “I don’t really remember what I said to Otan. I was just trying to shut down that conversation topic and so I said the first thing I could think of in the moment to do just that. But ... I think you remember every word, don’t you?”

John nodded but didn’t speak. Some things were burned into his memory and that moment was right up there with his mother telling him it was his fault his father died as two of the worst moments in his life.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I left.” Emori continued, walking toward him now and despite himself, John stepped back and looked away from her.

“Emori. I don’t think …” he started but didn’t know how to finish the sentence so it trailed off.

“I’m in love with you.” She whispered and his head shot up.

“What?” Had he heard that right? This wasn’t possible. It had to be that he had fallen over, knocked himself out in the snow, and this was some fever dream as his body froze to death or something. 

“I am in love with you. I am so very in love with you. I believe you love me too. We have survived more in this year than any couple has a right to and we weren’t even a couple. You’ve become my best friend, the person I want to see every day, every night when you leave my house I want to beg you to stay, and I love you. I love the way you take care of the things that are important to you. I love your stupid sarcastic jokes. I love the way you love our daughters. I love the way you have loved me every day without ever saying the words. I have been so afraid of ruining things that I ruined them anyway. Please tell me there is still a chance.” Her words were husky and softly spoken and burned into his soul. 

Stepping forward again, he cupped her face with one hand, and he leaned in to kiss her. He threaded his hand back and into her hair, as he used the other to slowly peel off her bulky jacket. Glancing down, he noted she was in a nightgown. She usually wore sweats and loose sweatshirts. He hadn’t seen the nightie before.

“It was the cutest one I had that still fit.” Emori mumbled as she noticed his look, and he grinned, “It has pink elephants on it.” 

“I like pink elephants.” she quipped as she kissed along the side of his jaw to the column of his throat. 

“I love pink elephants.” He growled as he bent low enough to scoop her off her feet and placed her on the bed. She squealed and then giggled at the sudden change of position. His t-shirt was gone in an instant and Emori’s hands trailed over the smooth planes of his upper body. 

“I have been so jealous of the girls getting all the cuddles with you.” she murmured and then laughed at how silly that sounded.

“Oh yeah?” John questioned, grinning as he spoke, “Well I suppose if you ask really nicely, they might share.” She laughed again and held out her arms. He slid into bed with her and pulled her in close. He kissed her, slowly this time, and then paused, looking at her seriously. This all still felt like a dream. 

“Are you sure this is what you want? Because I don’t think I’ll survive it if ...” he asked, soft eyes resting on her beautiful face.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I love you, John Murphy.” she pledged seriously as she shifted to straddle him, looking into his eyes as she did so. 

“I love you too, Emori Kru.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to DialedIn for her editing prowess. Thank you to the Dad!Murphy crew for the inspiration. The next and final chapter will be my little epilogue to this tale of two hearts. I appreciate everyone who left a comment and/or kudos. ~ Enjoy


	10. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedding Bells

**_“You make me thank god for every mistake I ever made,_ **

**_Because each one led me down the path that brought me to you.”_ **

The string quartet played the first few bars and the doors began to open. The wedding march had begun. The venue was stunning as the conservatory kept afloat on events just like this one. They knew how to do it well but the couple could not have selected a more perfect day for the occasion. The flowers were in full bloom, filling the air with heady fragrance. The door parted and two small faces appeared. At only four, they were still petite but to the blessed relief of all in attendance, especially their loving parents, they were in good health and continued to thrive.

Indy dug her small hand into the basket and threw the petals into the air with abandon. Rae seriously picked out each one and dropped it carefully. Their matching pale pink dresses with drooping white bows offset their dark hair, done up in curls for the occasion. Behind them followed Jordan, the ring bearer, holding the small box in his hands with all the gravity his almost five year old self could muster. He only stumbled a little when he spotted his mother. He almost ran over but managed to restrain himself and continue the steady walk to the altar. The groom took the box from him, offered gentle praise, and then Jordan, flush with victory, ran back down the aisle to clamber onto his parents’ laps. Indy and Rae were waiting at the front, Rae still dropping petals from her basket, to the envy of her sister, as she had none left.

The bridesmaids and groomsmen began their steady walk to join the waiting groom. John smiled down at Emori as she folded her hand into the crook of his arm. “You look gorgeous.” he whispered. It was true, the dark rose of her dress looked lovely against her skin and dark hair. He preferred her in blue but brides don’t always take his opinions into account. She replied quietly, “As do you.” 

“Well I couldn’t let you and the girls upstage me completely.” He teased and she gave a soft giggle before nudging him. They began the slow walk up to the altar, the very last pair before the bride began her procession. John stood behind the groom, a hand on his shoulder as the bride began to enter. John’s gaze flicked over the beautifully gowned bride and then around at the waiting crowd. 

Indra sat next to her son and his now husband, a shocking turn for all of them but Mbege merely said - when you find the one who sticks by your family through a crisis and you can’t imagine going through life without them, then you make them a part of that family. So he did. Indra had become the de facto mother and grandmother to all the strays and orphans in their family. She was present today as the pseudo mother of both bride and groom, which probably sounded more bizarre than it actually was. 

John let his gaze drift across to Emori and smiled at how beautiful she looked, happy for her friend and her brother. Tears of joy sparkled on her cheeks and John melted a little as she dusted them away. Her ring, their rings, glinted on her finger. He touched his wedding band, turning it slightly. Hard to believe three years ago he had made this extraordinary woman his wife. 

So many things had changed. Rather than sell her beautiful little house, they set up a home there to assist teenagers aging out of the system, giving them the chance to have a support system. Getting the grants and funding had been hell but now the place was ably run by Indra while Echo managed the books part time. Emori assisted while also working as a project manager for Mbege. The woman was brilliant and he admired her immensely. The work could often be done from home or with flexible hours, which allowed her to be there more for the twins.

Lincoln and Octavia had broken up and then gotten back together again. Her brother, Bellamy, was dating some hot blonde named Clarke, who was incredibly bossy but seemed like a nice woman. Raven, their queen of all things technology, was currently dating a woman who refused to even own a cell phone and ran for a non-profit advocating for and providing resources to facilitate clean water and sustainable water management. Her name was Luna and the twins adored the woman. So we’ll see where that one went, John thoughtful philosophically, but he had to admit he had never seen Raven happier. Monty, Jasper and Harper were still making bank at their business and were looking to expand again. Jasper had married Maya and they were currently trying for their first child. Harper had declared one and done for her, although she and Monty were still madly in love with their Jordan. The kid was adorable so John completely understood. He was pulled from these thoughts when he felt a small tug on his hand and leaned down a little.

Rae’s stage whisper could be heard by the entire guest list, “Daddy, Auntie Echo looks like an angel!” she declared as her father scooped her off her feet and propped her up on one hip. “Yes she does, doesn’t she?” John agreed. His eyes met Emori’s across the aisle and they both grinned. The vows began with everyone still in giggles at little Rae’s words. John heard Otan whisper to his bride, “I hope the videographer caught that. That was perfect. You _are_ my angel.” 

Later, as the children were sent off with a well-paid babysitter and the meals were done, John tugged his beautiful wife out onto the dance floor. They turned slowly, in time to the music, before he spun her out and pulled her back into his arms. “So when should we tell everyone? Not tonight obviously. But …”

Emori laughed, “Just think how relieved they will all be when we tell them we only made one this time.” He flashed a grin at her and nodded, “Still a girl though. It appears that is to be my lot in life, me and all my beautiful women.”

“Lucky you.” she teased.

John nodded but there was no teasing humour in his eyes as he replied seriously, “Lucky me.” Emori bit her lip, her eyes filling with tears, as she leaned in to rest her cheek on John’s shoulder. “Lucky me.” she whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read my fic about these crazy fools and their family. Thank you to the Dad!Murphy crew for their inspiration and support. Thank you to those who beta read my mess and made it so much better. Thank you particularly to Carrie (DialedIn) for her medical knowledge. I appreciate each and every comment and kudos. All the best to all of you and your families and friends in 2021!!


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